Candi's Corner

Are they REALLY watching???

2012-01-24T20:58:00.001-06:00

So remember when I said I joined weight watchers? Well let's just hope they're not REALLY watching b/c I'm not doing too well. I wonder if I can cancel & get my money back??? :)

Update on Jaime...

2012-01-24T18:47:00.001-06:00

So she went to the surgeon yesterday & he didn't seem convinced that there was much to be concerned over. He felt the lymphnodes & said that they didn't seem very large. Therefore he is sending her for a CT scan. So, she goes for that tomorrow & then back to him for the results & he said he would go from there. But he said with her lack of other "classic" symptoms that he didn't seem overly concerned. Let's pray that he is correct.

Currently...

2012-01-22T21:18:00.006-06:00

Currently

{Current Book}:

I haven't started it yet, but I am joining a book club & this is the book we're supposed to be reading.

{Current Playlist}:

Lite 70's such as Elton John, Bread, America, Billy Joel (you get the picture right?)

{Current Color}:

Hm, blue because of my mood?

{Current Food}:

Buffalo Chicken Tenders from Hardee's (I know, I know!)

{Current Favorite Shows}:

RHOBH, can't help it, I loves me some Real Housewives!

Suburgatory - So smart, Love it!

{Current Needs}:

More hours in the day?!

{Current Triumphs}:

Is it bad that I just can't think of any at the moment?

{Current Bane of my Existance}:

Pathophysiology

{Current Celebrity Crush}:

Can't WAIT to see The Vow

{Current #1 Blessing}:

The health of me & my family.

{Current Indulgence}:

See above Current Food

{Current Outfit}:

Work out pants & black tank top (not that I worked out, they're just comfy)

{Current Excitement}:

Seriously can't think of anything, sorry :(

{Current Mood}:

Completely stressed out over Pathophysiology

{Current Favorite App}:

Pandora

{Current Favorite Product}:

Twisted Peppermint Triple Moisture Body Cream, YUM!!!

{Current thing that makes me feel weird}:

Weird, bad, nervous, it makes me feel a lot of things....

Ok, now it's your turn!!

Update on Jaime...

2012-01-21T09:58:00.004-06:00

So I wanted to update on my sister. We did go to the oncologist and he sent her for an ultrasound of the nodes on her neck. They came back 1.1 cm on the right side and 1.7 cm on the left side, so she is going Monday for a consultation with a surgeon about getting a biopsy done. I've talked to several people and read several things online and I think we're either looking at nothing, or some type of lymphoma. Of course we're praying for this to be nothing and if you're the praying type, I ask that you too will pray that this is nothing more than a byproduct of her mono.

Thanks.

Getting healthy...

2012-01-20T13:21:00.003-06:00

Ok so I said before I need to get healthy right? Well I decided to do something about it. I'm following in the great footsteps of Sir Charles Barkley. No, I'm not joining the NBA, I joined WW online!! Woohoo!! I have thought about it often but just never did it, but today I decided to join :) Soo, I'm going to set up my weight loss tracking jar (that I showed in this post) & start counting my points!! :) I'm allowed 36 points :) Sooo, we'll just see how this goes. I signed up for 3 months, so in 3 months I guess I'll just have to see where I am at that point. Hopefully MUCH skinnier :) What that presumes that I am skinny at all, which I'm not. So actually I should say, hopefully less fatter!! ;) Anyway, I'm very excited about it, now if only I could get the app to work on my phone, I'd seriously be in business. I'll be sure to keep you updated.

Chattanooga

2012-01-16T11:49:00.007-06:00

Well school starts tomorrow so I wanted to take this time to enjoy the calm before the storm, so me, my husband, my sister & her husband all loaded up & headed to Chattanooga on Saturday night. I had planned a dinner at the Vaudeville Cafe for their mystery dinner. It was pretty fun. (This is a picture of Eugene with the redneck mom from the play). If you haven't been to one of those types of things then it is definitely something to do, but it's not something I would really do again. It was cute enough. I may take my children back, I think they would enjoy it. Then we stayed at the LaQuinta, which I know isn't known for their 4 star qualities, but can I just say that the bed there was HEAVENLY!! It was this nice king size bed with like SIX REALLY comfortable pillows (ok maybe there was just four b

ut they were so fluffy) and this WONDERFUL white down comforter, I mean seriously I wanted to take this bed home with me, it was sooooo comfortable. So I have to give some props to the LaQuinta in Chattanooga, I WILL be staying there again for sure. :)

Looking SO forward to tomorrow. ~~Dying inside~~ A little nervous about all the work I have to do, but still excited about everything. Woohoo!!

Me & Eugene

Me & my sis, in the one picture she is cracking up because we were trying to get our husbands to take a picture of us & they started acting like they were the paparazzi. Well let's just say, she's laughing at them & I'm laughing at her. It was a really fun night & I hope we get to do something like this again real soon! Now bring on the ~~drudgery~~ fun!!

When God wink's at you...

2012-01-12T14:43:00.003-06:00

So I've started reading this book called "When God winks at you" & it is so much like my life. It's stories of how things in life seem to "fall into place" but really it's God moving in your life. I really like this book because I've had A LOT of those things happen to me. God is really present in my life and the more I am aware of that presence the more I am blessed by it. I want to share some amazing examples with you & there are many, but right now I can only think of a few so here they are. These are direct prayers that were answered:

When I was wanting to go back to school I knew I needed a new job. At the time I was working a 40 hour week as a customer service rep & I knew that wouldn't work. So I decided to pray for what I needed. I prayed for a job IN the town I was living in, in a doctor's office, making over $12.00 an hour, that would work around my school schedule. Guess what I got? A job, in my town, working for a chiropractor, making $11.00 an hour (but within 2 weeks he had given me a raise to $12). Guess what I didn't get? A Christian boss. After working there for a while I realized that this person was a pretty despicable person, but guess what? I didn't mention anything in my prayers about what kind of PERSON I wanted to work for. Only for what I needed in order to make school work. And work it did. While I worked there I was able to go to school & get all my pre-reqs out of the way & apply to nursing school.
While I was working for ~~Satan~~ the chiropractor I knew that nursing school applications were coming up. I also knew that I wasn't going to be able to continue working where I was working with the hours I working. That spring I applied to the program that would start in the fall. Well as the days grew closer I was anticipating getting in, but I knew that I just really didn't have things in order. I knew I would have to quit my job, which meant I'd have no income. I hadn't turned in my son's application for his hardship license, which meant I would have had to find a way for my children to get to school and I just really didn't have a great overall plan in place and God knew it. I didn't get in. At the time I was disappointed, but guess what? The next semester I had ALL my ducks in a row. I had been fired from my job (a blessing believe me) so that I was able to draw unemployment and I know this was God's plan all along. So although the prayer was answered, it was answered in God's perfect timing & not mine.

There are many stories in my life like this. There are so many times that God has DIRECTLY answered my prayers and there are times when He's answered my prayers but in His time not mine. And of course, His timing was always better than mine ever would have been. So if you'd like a short read of God's little winks then I encourage you to get this book. Or better yet, look for the winks in your own life, it's so encouraging and awesome!

"Delight yourself also in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4 NKJV

Whoa!!!!!

2012-01-12T02:00:00.001-06:00

OH MY GOODNESS!! Guess who has SEVEN chapters to read in Pathophysiology and who has SEVEN freaking quizzes to take, ALL before next Tuesday?????????? Seriously? Lady I haven't even stepped foot in your classroom. Are you kidding? Am I being punked? No, seriously, did I mention I don't even have the book yet?? Oh and this online class, although you are a bit tedious, I think I'm going to love you. Or maybe it's just love at first site but the real you will come out later & I'll end up hating you as well. As for health assessment, I'm still trying to figure out exactly what you are. I mean you're obviously important, you even have a lab that comes with you, but still, I'm trying to figure you out.

And guess what? Today was only orientation!!

Lord help me!

Whew...

2012-01-10T17:19:00.001-06:00

So we went to the doctor & he didn't seem overly concerned with Jaime's symptoms. He is sending her for an ultrasound on her neck, but he really thinks it's probably just a remnant of her mono. We were both so relieved to hear that. So she goes Friday for the ultrasound & then we go back for the results next Wed. He said as long as the nodes were less than 2 cm that it was probably nothing, but if they were over that then he'd probably send her for a cat scan. So we'll see & continue to pray, but I too feel like it's probably nothing. Thank you Lord.

Guess what?? TOMORROW IS ORIENTATION!!!!!!! Woohoo. And I got the text today saying my student loan refund is on it's way. So now I can get my books, my nursing kit, my adorable school supplies, my clicker & my raspberry stethoscope. Yeay!! I'm so excited woowee & I just can't hide it no, no, no no, I'm about to lose control & I think I like it....ok I've got a grip now. Seriously though I am super excited!!! :)

Prayers....

2012-01-10T07:52:00.001-06:00

Ok, so today I am going to the oncologist with my sister. I am asking that those of you that are prayer people, to please pray that this turns out to be nothing. Jaime has had swollen lymphnodes now for many months. The doctor initially said it was from Mono, but after they keep continuing to swell has decided to send her to an oncologist for a consult. I hope that she doesn't mind that I am putting this on here, but please pray that this is NOT cancer.

Thank you!

Are you ready for some FOOTBALL!!

2012-01-09T15:05:00.004-06:00

ROOOOLLL TIDE PEOPLE!!!!!!!! (I'm pretending my son's jersey is from Alabama, lol). Tonight's the night to see which SEC team it's going to be. Although I want Alabama to win, I am happy to see that it's two SEC teams in the championship. I LOVE the south. I may have been born a Yankee but I was bred a southerner and

I LOVE it! I love the SEC and hope that one day my boy will be playing in it. Hopefully for Alabama, but any SEC team will do. Soo excited for tonight. If Alabama clinches this victory it will be#14!! More championships than any other college team out there woohoo!! I mean they already have more than any other team, but this will just be one more victory in their hats!! I'm proud to be from Alabama and I can't wait for tonight, woohoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh & btw, one more day & then orientation! Woohoo!! Can't wait. Can't decide if I should dress up or go casual with my jeans & new Blarvard shirt that Eugene got me for Christmas. Hmmm, what to do?

Hardship license....

2012-01-07T22:13:00.002-06:00

So it's official, we got the approval today for my son's hardship license. Woohoo!! Now he can drive him & his sister to school!! Yeay!! Of course school starts the 17th & wouldn't you know it there wasn't an opening for the stupid driving test until the 18th :(. Luckily though I have some really great friends that will help me out until then & of course Eugene works 2 days on 2 days off, so it'll work out. Hopefully there won't be a problem with him passing the test, I'd hate to have to kill him! There shouldn't be a problem though, he's a really great driver.

I ordered one of my books for school :) Can't wait to get it. It's just Nursing Trends, but I am looking forward to even that. I mean what do I know about nursing trends? So that should be pretty interesting. It's an online class, the only one I have. I'm not really big on online classes. I had a math class online but it was pretty straightforward, the teacher just basically recorded himself teaching the class. We watched it, did the homework & took the tests. I like that style. But the style where you have to read something & then read what other people posted & then comment on their posts. I'm not too sure about that one! 3 more days & then orientation!!!!! Yeay!!!

Weight loss...

2012-01-06T13:01:00.003-06:00

Ok so I need to start seriously paying attention to my weight, for several reasons. Mainly for health. I don't want to die young. I want to be around to see my children get married & to play with my children's children. I have too many GOOD things happening in my life to have it cut short because I didn't take care of myself. So on pinterest I found the cutest idea. It's a visual weight tracker & I am totally going to do this. This is what it looks like:

Isn't that cute? I mean who doesn't love Mason jars. There are several ways to use this, but the way I'm going to do it is start with the number of rocks that correlate to the number of pounds I want to lose & then with each pound take a rock out. Then I can visually see as the rocks start to dwindle. Of course you could do it the other way & fill the jar up for every pound you could add a rock, but I like the idea of dwindling rocks to represent my dwindling weight. So now I just have to go out & purchase some cute rocks & get started. I think I'm going to wait until Monday to start. It'll be a total fresh start. New school semester, new volunteer job (more about that in a min), new healthy eating plan, new exercise plan. Haven't really put the healthy eating & exercise plan together 100% at this time. But about my volunteering job.

So I think I posted on here about a volunteer gig in the town next to us at this free clinic. Well I went did the interview & she was totally interested in me helping. So I got an email from her the other day & she said that they really needed a nurse to work on Friday's from 10-12 with the OBGYN's that come (and yes I know I am NOT a nurse, but what she meant was she needs someone to go in with the doctor's & she just said nurse). Now mind you GYN has NEVER really been a field I was interested in, BUT I know a Nurse Practitioner who works for a really successful OBGYN in town & I have to say this will be some really good experience in case I ever decide to go that route. If I were to specialize I always saw myself going into oncology. But, I guess you just never know & any experience is good experience. So hopefully I will start that next week & since I don't have a class on Friday it works out great with my schedule. I'm actually really excited about it. I am excited about life in general, which brings me back to my weight loss. I HAVE to get this under control. I have too much in life to live for to continue down the path I'm on & therefore I am going to put together some sort of plan by the beginning of next week to start. I have to. I might blog about it, I might not. I know blogging about it might help to keep me accountable, but then again it may just make me not want to blog & I don't want to do that, so we'll see. Maybe I'll just periodically post a picture of my jar & it's dwindling rocks :).

I guess I'll just have to wait & see how I feel. Until then I am still waiting to start school, ugh waiting, we all know how much I despise it, but only 5 more days until orientation, woohoo!!! Can't wait!!! Let the countdown continue :)

Stay off the roads!!

2012-01-04T14:43:00.002-06:00

Just kidding!! I heard back from the Department of Homeland Security today about Jordan's hardship license. I'm pretty sure it was approved & she said she would be sending the letter out tomorrow with instructions of what we need to do now. I am so happy! Although there will only be a couple of days a week that Jordan will actually have to drive himself & Alei to school, I'm sure now that he will have his license he'll be trying to drive every day, which is actually ok with me, that means I don't have to get up & go out in the cold to take them. Woohoo. Of course he will get his real license in March anyway but this will definitely help me out for school on those days when Eugene is working, because we'll both be leaving the house early & won't be able to take the kids to school. Thank you Lord for small & big favors. Things have definitely fallen into place this time around, which only goes to show that last semester I was NOT ready to be accepted & therefore, I wasn't. But I'm ready this time, getting closer, woohoo!!!!!!!!!!

Cutting it close!

2012-01-03T10:28:00.002-06:00

When it comes to my acceptance into nursing school I am NOT a procrastinator as with everything else in my life, so today I have to fax off all my stuff (driver's license, Life Support Card, labs etc.) off to someplace in order to cement my acceptance. When might you ask is the deadline for this? The 6th. This is the ONLY thing I've cut so close, whew. Also, I was looking at my list of things I need to get as far as books & stuff are concerned & I have to get a clicker??? What the heck is a clicker & why do I need one. Are we going to be taking our tests in game show style? Apparently is it supposed to help keep our attention during lecture by "polling" us? Weird, but this is what it looks like:

Does anyone else use these? I am excited to find out exactly how they work. Can't wait!!

Had a fabulous New Year's Eve!!

2012-01-02T00:21:00.017-06:00

Here's a little snippet of my New Year's Eve 2011!!

The girls & I decided we wanted to dress up just for fun. The men weren't really on board at first, but as you can see they pretty much caved, lol. This is all of us coupled up. These are my girls. Next to me is my bestie Shelley, my sister and best friend Jaime & my other bestie Chrisi. Over the past few months we have all gotten very close and I am so thankful to have these girls in my life. Then there's me & the hubs, LOVE HIM CRAZY!

Me & my beautiful niece Amberlyn & me & my sis.

We weren't crazy though, we brought clothes to change into once all the "pretty" pictures had been taken, lol.

Hence our pj "After" pics:

We had a Pinterest Party and it was such a blast. For those of you that don't know what Pinterest is, you HAVE to check it out. But the way we did it, we all brought a dish from a recipe we had pinned on Pinterest & let me just say the Pizza dip was FABULOUS!! Then after we ate we played a fancy little game of Headbandz & then a couple of rousing rounds of Apples to Apples. After that it was fireworks, toasts, kisses & then home by 1:30. It was so much fun & I am so lucky to have such great friends & family. Looking SOOOO forward to 2012!!!! Hope everyone else had a safe & wonderful New Year.

2011-12-22T20:54:00.003-06:00

Christmas is sooo close and guess who's going shopping tomorrow? Yep, that's right me and my hubster. We are actually doing the BULK of our shopping tomorrow (and hopefully NOT Saturday). Can I just say how much I hate shopping in the first place? Then you add on top of it all the rude people who come out at this time of year & I could literally just pull my hair out. No better yet I could pull that old lady's hair out who CUT in front of me at Justice today. I mean come on, I'm a big girl, there was NO way she didn't see me!! Oooh. But, good thing is, it'll just be me and Eugene tomorrow and I always love a day when it can just be the two of us. So, I'm looking forward to that at least. :) Maybe I'll even post some pictures :0)

Blessings...

2011-12-14T15:23:00.003-06:00

So after my wake up call. Prayers for blessings and prayers of thanksgiving, I have received three more orders for scarves!!! Thank you Jesus :)

***And I sold my canister set that was one of the FIRST things I'd posted to Etsy!! God is good people!!***

I'm doing it again....

2011-12-13T22:01:00.004-06:00

Things have just been so hectic that I've started doing it again. I've started just moving forward on my own power. I'm walking ahead of the one who's supposed to lead me and worst of all, I am totally forgetting to thank Him for the blessings I've encountered. It really hit me today as I left from a lunch date where I sold 4 of my custom T-shirt scarves. I didn't even thank Him. I didn't thank Him for the blessing that that sale was. Not only did I not thank Him for the sales, but I hadn't even involved Him in my Etsy shop. I hadn't one time asked for His blessing over it. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I think that I am able to do anything without Him??? I'm thankful for His reminding me today before I got too far ahead of myself, no ahead of Him. I can't afford to walk ahead of Him anymore, I have to follow where He leads, I cannot do it on my own, not now, not with all I have coming up.

Thinking about this also brings thoughts of my son. Right now he seems to be taking a turn down a path that I need to be praying that we don't go, but have I? Have I prayed about it? Nope. What am I thinking?? Jordan will be 16 soon and while the things he's encountering are normal for a boy his age, they're more than I can handle on my own, I have no doubt. But have I bathed the situation in prayer? Nope. Why?? I can't say. How do I say I forget to ask my Father for help? Maybe because I'm not used to asking for help. I'm not good at it and honestly I don't like to do it. I don't like to ask others for help. I want to be able to do it on my own. Whatever "it" is, I don't want anyone to help me, I want to be able to do it. But this is more than I can handle on my own, so I am turning it over to the only one that I know can handle it. Draining. Sad. Time to turn it all over, don't know why I wait until it gets to this point, one day I'll learn...

Debt...

2011-12-13T17:03:00.003-06:00

So I posted on my nursing school blog about going into debt & man is that scaring the pants off of me. I have not had a credit card or a charge card in years. My car is paid for (yes it's a clunker but so what) and with a few easy key strokes and the fax of a letter I instantly became the proud owner of a debt to the tune o f $10,000. S-C-A-R-Y. And it's not like that's the most I'm going to incur, by the end of my schooling career I'm sure I'll be well over $30,000 in debt. I swear I could break out in hives just thinking about it.

Anyhoo, Christmas is getting soooo close and this is probably the first time in YEARS that Eugene & I will end up shopping on Christmas Eve, or the night before anyway. When we were much younger & much more broke, we used to do that all the time. We'd have to wait until we got our final paycheck before Christmas to go & finish our shopping, but with two pretty decent incomes we haven't done that in years. Fast forward to me drawing unemployment only and guess what we'll be doing December 23rd? Weird how quickly you can be brought back to that place. Living paycheck to paycheck is such a scary place to be, but that's the reason I am making the sacrifices I'm making now, so that in the future hopefully we'll never have to be back at this place again. Although I enjoy the holidays I have to admit, I'll just be glad when it's all over & I can focus solely on school. I go next Monday to get certified for CPR. I foresee several hours of a very boring class. I hope I'm wrong. We'll see...

Hope everyone is enjoying this holiday season!

Looking forward to a busy weekend...

2011-12-01T22:45:00.004-06:00

So, this weekend is going to be SUPER busy! I have a birthday party planned for my baby girl. Turning 10 next week. Double digits here she comes!! Hard to believe it's been 10 years since I first brought her home. She is the light of my life, she brings me so much joy, I love her more than I could ever express in words. So that's 2 days of bday bliss with her and then Saturday night my beautiful sister & I are hosting (well actually she's hosting I'm just helping) our 2nd annual ornament swap. Very much looking forward to that. As much as for the ornament as for the FOOD!! I am total foodie & can't wait to taste other people's creations!! Can I just say ONE MORE TIME, how much I am LOVING pinterest??? I am especially loving the new recipes that I am finding. I have already tried out two of them. One I think needs some tweaking & will be much better. The other was eh. But I just love all the great ideas on that site. For the house, fashion, crafts, recipes, it is SOOOO great!! Why couldn't I have thought of that????

Thanksgiving Day...

2011-11-24T11:20:00.003-06:00

So today is our 3rd Thanksgiving without our mom and I have to say, it was nice to be with my sister and her family. While my mom was missed, I am so thankful that I live close to my sister and that we were raised to be close. There is nothing better than having a sister who is your best friend & your biggest cheerleader. Speaking of which. She and two of my closest friends thew me a surprise "Congratulations" party to celebrate my getting into nursing school. I was totally surprised and it was so sweet.

I have been thinking of my mom quite a bit lately & it's probably because nursing school is looming & I know how proud that would make her. I can just imagine her telling people "My daughter is in nursing school". For someone that didn't get to go to college, I know she would be so proud. Nursing school has me contemplating so many things. I look around me & I see family members getting older and kind of "settling" into the 2nd half of their lives, as if it's all down hill from here, I think about my life and the direction that it's going & I sometimes think "Am I crazy?". But honestly since when is 39 geriatric? What it really has me thinking more & more about is my health. As I head into my 40's, I want this second half of my life to be the best part! I want this to be a new beginning & a new direction that takes me to the best life I'm meant to live and I can't WAIT!! And I know in order for that to happen, I have got to get healthier. How am I going to stand on my feet for 10-12 hours a time at the weight I am? I know I can physically do it, but boy I can forsee my back seriously protesting. Sooooo. I have a friend who has recently had gastric bypass & so while she's in this gungho, get healthy vibe, I'm going to get with her & hopefully start a "Couch to 5k". I figure she'll be the one to help kick me into gear and together we can help each other get healthy. And who knows, by the spring maybe we'll be entering a 5k! :) Now that would be something to blog about!!!

So in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I am going to give my list:

Of course for my family
That I got into nursing school
That my Father has blessed me with the intelligence to get into nursing school
That I have a husband who is willing to work overtime, sometimes 6 days in a row standing 12 hours on a concrete floor, so that I can attend nursing school.
Children who are healthy, happy and for the most part well adjusted
A sister who lives 12 minutes away
I'm thankful for my health
My house
A car that allows me to get back & forth to school
And so much more that I can't think of right now in the midst of this madhouse!! LOL

I hope that everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving day and spends it in a way that is a blessing to them in every way.

Found another one...

2011-11-22T09:53:00.003-06:00

So I found another cute little website to ~~totally suck all the time from the day~~ visit! It's called Polyvore & basically you can go on there and create outfits. :) Now, I think there's other things you can do on there, but that's all I've done so far. It's fun. Guess I better enjoy it while I can.

Here is one of the outfits I "created" :):

Isn't that cute! I love pink color combo's. :)

CNA class....

2011-11-18T14:46:00.004-06:00

So I got into that free CNA class. I am totally NOT thrilled, but still hoping that having that under my belt will help me out.

Also, added some more scarves to my ETSY account, super cute ones too, even if I do say so myself!! I don't know WHAT it on the background though, think I need to take some new pictures!

Here's Chunky Monkey:

Here's a gorgeous turquoise/brown combo:

And of course, one of my favorites, Pink & Black:

So much....

2011-11-15T22:52:00.003-06:00

There is so much going on right now. School has me TOTALLY occupied right now, but in a good way. I am LOVING not having to work and hope that I can maintain that all the way through school. I am really enjoying making my scarves and other crafts, it's really an outlet that I was surprised that I liked so much. Things at home are going along smoothly and I have made a really good group of core friends that I am so appreciative for. We have been meeting together on Sunday nights for a really great Bible study on the book Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free. If you're a woman & you haven't read this book, I would definitely encourage it! But amazingly enough, with all I have going on, I feel good, and probably because I feel like I'm walking the path that the Lord has laid before me and I know that that makes all the difference. Also, maybe it's just the "calm before the storm". I guess we'll see soon enough!! Also, looking so forward to the Holidays. But goodness this warm weather!! I mean don't get me wrong, I LOVE the fact that we're having 70 degree weather, but when it comes to the actual Thanksgiving Day, I really like it to be chilly so we can have a fire. It just "feels" more holidayish that way :) At least to me anyway. I'm a sucker for my surroundings.

Ok gotta hit the hay, MORE things from my checklist to get accomplished tomorrow. Oh crap, including that interview at 9:15 in the morning!!! Totally forgot!! Seriously going to bed NOW!

Link Party!!

2011-11-15T22:25:00.003-06:00

Ok so I'm going to try this!! I am linking up to A Diamond in the Stuff's link party. So I grabbed her button & I suppose I'm supposed to put it on here? If so, here it is! :) It's a link of your crafts, recipe's or projects!

So if you want to "link" up to her party then head on over there. Here are the rules

Here's the Do's and Dont's for the party:

DO grab my button so we can spread the word, you must link to participate!

DO NOT link to your blog, link only the specific post permalink!

DO share the comment love!

DO NOT link to your Etsy shop or online store!

DO follow along if you like!

If your link gets deleted, make sure you followed all the DO's and DONT's! If all else fails, contact her and please have fun!

My first custom piece!!!

2011-11-15T21:49:00.006-06:00

So I made my first "custom" scarf!! My friend wanted a royal blue/bright yellow scarf, since those are her school colors & I made it tonight. So excited for my first sale :) I can't wait to get it in the mail to her!!! This is a picture of it. I LOVE these!!

So excited!!

2011-11-14T22:27:00.006-06:00

Ok, so I'm so excited!! I got my first custom order first custom order for the scarves I'm making!! They are the cutest things! I have posted them on my etsy shop, but I will go ahead & put them on my blog too. I can't wait to get more custom orders!!!

These are ones I currently have at my etsy shop:

Navy/plaid $10.00 ($5.00 shipping)

This one is called Cardinal (for the team) the color's are Red/White/Black $12.00 ($5.00 shipping)

They are super cozy and soft. Like I said I do custom order's so if you have school color's, team color's etc. Just let me know & I'll whip one up & send it to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

ACCEPTANCE!!!!!!!!

2011-11-12T17:44:00.005-06:00

Today is the beginning of the rest of my life!!! Today I was ACCEPTED into Blarvard's nursing program (name changed to protect the innocent). Starting in January I will again roam the hallowed halls of college, but this time it will be a University and not a community college. This time I will be working toward my Bachelor's degree. This time I will be working toward changing my family's future. This time I will be working toward a life that includes someone in my family that graduated from college!!!! This time will be the beginning of what I hope is a life changing dream come true. I am SO excited, I GOT IN!!!

Now of course, this is where the nerves kick in. Am I smart enough? Will I be able to pass these classes? Will I be able to afford everything I have to have? Will I be able to balance school, a family and possibly work? I am totally thanking God right now for how this has all fallen into place. Right now I am drawing unemployment and I have a friend who's been drawing it for almost 2 years. If I can do that then I won't have to work. Now THAT would be awesome!!! The whole school/family balance is going to be enough, but to have to add a job to the top of that doesn't sound too pleasant, but I will do it if I have to. Once again I am just praising a Father that knows the road ahead. A Father that only wants the best for me. A Father that sees the future I can't see and that leads me by the hand towards a goal that I have dreamed about now for almost 3 years. Thank you Lord!!

On a side note I had the coolest call just a minute ago. After I got my acceptance letter I posted a picture of it on FB & one of the women I've become FB friends with (who is a NP, going for her DNP) called me!! It was so sweet!! We've talked on FB, emailed etc. She has given me many words of encouragement and I was so touched that she called. Not only did she call but she said if I needed anything...help with a problem, tips on getting through school, even help if money was short to just give her a call. How sweet is that? I definitely know that God "put" her in my life. She even said she would be looking for a graduation invitation. Isn't that just too sweet!!! I am so thankful to have "met" her and can't wait to meet her for real 2 years from now at my graduation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Guess what else this means??? It means the start of my new blog. My blog/vlog which will be ALL about my nursing school experience. I am very excited to start that as well :) Look for it soon.

Guess I'm gonna get off here and go make some dinner, but I'll be walking on sunshine all the way there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Woohooooooo

Romance, my lifestyle...

2011-11-09T08:43:00.002-06:00

Or according to Ethan Allen, lol. Ethan Allen.com has this style test that you take that tells you what your style is and according to them it's Romance:

my signature lifestyle is
romance

The results are in – your Signature Lifestyle is Romance. Inspired by distinguished European furniture designs, Romance delivers bespoke charm minus the fuss. It’s a fresh take on pretty that harmoniously blends carved woods and handcrafted finishing details with dressmaker fabrics. Layers of rich texture, curvaceous silhouettes, and antiques-inspired accessories complete this enchanting look.

I guess I can live with that. I do love things like ornate candle holders & chandeliers. Interesting, now I have to go & take a look at what they've chosen for me :). Want to know your style according to Ethan Allen? Go here and take the test.

Links, link party's...I don't get it!!

2011-11-08T09:42:00.002-06:00

Ugh, I'm so frustrated. I don't know how to "link up" when other people are having link parties. I don't know how to make a button or get someone else's button (ok that sounds kind of dirty, lol, or maybe that's just me). I hate not being able to participate when I don't know how to do something!!!!! I did participate in the Pinterest Challenge, but then when I looked at the other person's blog I didn't see mine!! I DO NOT LIKE NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO!!!!!!!! Any help? Suggestions? Instructions????

Waiting...

2011-11-06T22:23:00.003-06:00

Ok, so I'm still waiting to hear from school, but for some reason I'm not ANXIOUSLY waiting like I was last time, I mean honestly I've barely thought about the letter. Of course unless I'm coming home & I see the postman pulling away from my house & I think "Did I miss it! Did he leave that orange note card on my door saying he was there but didn't get anyone? Because if I see an orange card I am hunting him down!!" But other than those particular times I've done pretty good this time about not stressing over getting ~~put out of my misery~~ notified of whether I was good enough to get into school this time or not. Man does time fly though! By the time I DO get back into school I will have been out for almost a whole year and let me tell you, I am feeling a LITTLE rusty about now. I know I REALLY should be boning up on my terms, A & P, etc. but I just can't seem to push myself to do that. Is that bad? Is that a sign that I'm really not that interested in going to nursing school? I hope not.... Also, I'm waiting to hear if I got into the free CNA program. Seeing as it starts next month I may go ahead & give them a call this week to see if they allowed me to skip the waiting list & start in December. THAT would be really cool, but honestly the way things have gone for me thus far, I don't hold out much hope. I swear it seems like if there are two paths & one is smooth and sun shiney with birds chirping in the trees as you skip along and the other path is rocky with a deep cliff on either side with crows cawing as you cower by hoping not to fall off into the abyss, well I'm pretty sure that that's the path I've been on. Ok, now I'm starting to sound like a Debbie downer, sorry. I know that right now my future is in the hands of my loving Father and that whatever path I'm on I'm just praying that it's the one that He wants me to walk and not one of my own making, because He knows that if I follow MY path and not HIS, well, let's just say I've been there/done that and I'd much rather follow Him.

So, as soon as I hear something I'll be sure to post it!!!!!!! Of course it'll be posted on my other blog (which I haven't posted yet) which will be ALL about my nursing school adventures/mishaps :)

Hope everyone has a terrific week!

Pinterest Challenge Time!!

2011-11-02T22:10:00.006-05:00

So I have accepted the Pinterest challenge given by two of my FAVORITE bloggers Young House Love and Bower Power and I took something I've pinned and actually made it happen. Now my digital camera ~~crapped out~~ broke, so I had to take a picture of my finished project with my 1000 year old Blackberry, so please excuse the quality of the picture & just know that it looks adorable! I actually completed two pins and they're sitting side by side. The first is an autumn picture collage that looked like this, but instead of spelling Autumn I just spelled Fall and the second pin is a cloche that I painted. I am loving both of them but I think I am going to try a little stain on the white painted part of the cloche to give it that antiquey look like the original pin I took the idea from. I already sanded the edges, but I know it needs something more, so I'm going to use a little trick I learned on these fabulous blogs & add a little walnut stain to the top & see how it turns out. But for now here are my pins turned realities :)

And please go and check out my major inspirations and their challenges, I'd say they were a bit more "challenging" than mine but that's ok, I'm new at this!!!

Katie from Bower Power's window transformation

Sherry from Young House Love's ornamental ornaments

Ana from Ana White Homemaker's bookish bookshelf

and Erin from House of Ernest's spectacular gold lined light

Haven...

2011-10-30T01:43:00.002-05:00

Ok, so those of you that read my blog may have read lately that I've gotten a little bit into crafting/home decorating/DIY stuff. And I KNOW you all know how much I LOVE blogs. So I have been going CRAZY reading all these decorating/DIY/crafty blogs and guess what I saw?? A little conference called Haven and can I just TELL you how much I want to go to this?? AND the great thing is, it's in Atlanta, which is only like about 3 hours from me!! The only bummer is how freaking EXPENSIVE it is!!! Guess how much? $199.99 flipping dollars, oh plus a $5.97 registration fee (I suppose that's what the fee's for, who knows). So besides it ~~costing a freaking fortune~~ being a little pricey, I REALLY want to go!!!! Best of all my FAVORITE bloggers are going to be there, John & Sherry from Young House Love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So now it's on, time to break out the old money jar & start saving to head to Haven. Also, when isn't it a good time to head to Atlanta, I love Atlanta. Also, you can stay at the fabulous Crowne Plaza hotel for just $89.00 a night, courtesy of the Haven special! Awesomeness. Now, let's see who of my friends I can talk into going with me :)

P.S.

2011-10-29T00:29:00.001-05:00

Hey, is this font hard to read???

2nd interview...

2011-10-29T00:11:00.003-05:00

Ok, so the interview went swimmingly, just as before. I promise I'm not trying to brag, but I always feel like I do pretty well on interviews. I'm not nervous at all during the process, it's definitely one of my strengths. Of course that's one of the questions that they ask you "What's one of your strengths?" I should have said "Doing interviews." hahaha. So now that that's over, guess what time it is?? Yep, time to hurry up AND wait. Oh waiting. If you have read my blog you already KNOW waiting is NOT my strong suit. Ha, I should have told them that was one of my weaknesses, waiting! So if they could just mail my letter out tomorrow & either put me out of my misery or accept me & put me into pure panic mode, either way sooner would definitely be better :). They said I would hear something by Thanksgiving, but I know from last semester that my friend who was actually accepted into the program received her acceptance letter WAY before I got my rejection letter. So I guess they give the good news first. That means if I get a letter any time before November 15th, I can assume it's good news. Of course I can only assume that until I open the letter and see.

So, I have decided to start a new blog completely about nursing school (see thinking positive). And really it's going to be more of a vlog than a blog. I figured I'd vlog my way through nursing school. That way if any other ~~poor sucker~~ future nursing student wants the low down on school, they can simply watch my vlog. I actually recorded my first video today. I tried to include the questions I was asked, you know, stuff a future nursing student hopeful might want to know before they go into the ~~interrogation room~~ interview. At least all of this is my plan, I guess we'll see just how much time I have to actually vlog once I start. Hopefully I can stick to it, because I know personally this is something I would definitely be interested in checking out, were it available now. And actually, if anyone knows about a vlog out there like the one I'm planning, please let me know, I'd LOVE to check it out. As of right now I just read blogs written by other nursing students & live vicariously through them. **Shout out to Zazzy over at Frazzled_razzledrn, Nikki at Life as We Know it, and NP at NP Odyssey**.

Ok, well I am super tired, but seeing as I may have to go pick up my child around 1 am from school (away football game), I guess I'm gonna go catch a catnap on my couch, in front of the toasty fire while I wait.

Hope everyone stays warm this weekend, we have a frost warning for tonight. Our first one :) Winter is on its way, which means Thanksgiving & CHRISTMAS :0) Oh joy, can't wait for the decorating, gift making season to begin!!

Almost done...

2011-10-27T08:30:00.002-05:00

Ok, so I've had this idea floating around in my head ~~for freaking ever!~~ forever and finally decide to do it. It's a little harder than I expected, well not really harder, I guess you'd call it a learning curve, so although it's not turning out EXACTLY how I want it to, it's a good first try. Plus I've read ~~a bazillion~~ many more blogs about how to do it properly so when I do it on my 2nd wall, I'll have a much better technique. Took some before pictures & I can't wait to get it done to show you!!!!!!!!!!! :) I don't really know who "you" is, but I guess whoever is interested :)

Oh and btw, did I mention that I have my nursing interview this Friday???!! I am so excited. I don't think I'll be in the bottom 3 like I was last time. I like the interview, I think I come across well. So 2nd interview, please be the charm. Then after the interview I sit and dum, dum, dum....WAIT for THE LETTER. Oh the torturous waiting after the interview, I'm pretty sure that's the hardest part. But you know what? I feel better about it this time. I actually have my ~~crap together~~ ducks in a row & I know that WHEN I get in this time that I'll actually be ready. In all honesty I wasn't prepared last time. I think in my heart of hearts I doubted that I would get in & so I didn't worry about all the "little" things that needed to get done, but this time everything is READY & on go, now just waiting for the green light!! Let's get this party started baby!!! :)

Wow...

2011-10-24T09:41:00.011-05:00

So I have been so crazy busy lately & how appropriate that I say that since my sister has now coined me the "crazy crafting lady" or ccl as she likes to call it. I have just had so much to do lately. I did get some pretty important things taken care of, so for that I am grateful. I sent off my son's application to get approved for his hardship license. That way when I start nursing school in January (just putting it out there), he will be able to drive him & his sister back & forth to school, since I'm sure I'll be leaving at some ungodly hour. Have I ever mentioned how much I HATE getting up early? I'd rather work until midnight, than get up at 5 am. So, got that done & also went & turned in my application for the CNA course that a nursing home not far from here offers. They offer a FREE CNA certification class. All you have to pay is $45 for the book & then the $85 to get your license once the class is over & you pass the test. Unfortunately they only take 15 students a month, but I told them I might be starting nursing school & so they put that on my application & she said they try when they can to work with nursing students. Otherwise she said the waiting time to get into the class is usually about 3 months long.

So while I'm not working & am once again playing the waiting game with school, I've finally decided to ~~get off my butt and do something with my house~~ focus on updating the decorating in my house. And I have to say that while doing these home improvements I've really learned a few things about myself. First and foremost I found out I have two personalities when it comes to decorating. The first personality is all neutral color palate, Ballard's, Pottery Barn, Z Gallerie kind of girl and the second personality is random, crazy color girl. Ok, when you try to mix these two together guess what? It doesn't work. I LOVE colors. I love pink, orange, lime green, etc. And I THOUGHT I would love to decorate with those in my home but guess what? It doesn't really work out. When I go with that instinct it reads more childish than cute. And childish is NOT what I'm going for. And I don't know why that kind of bums me out because all the homes that I LOVE are more neutral tone, shabby chic type interiors, which I would love for my own house, so I guess I just need to just ~~murder~~ get rid of that other personality. So today I am ALL alone & I have this one project that I really want to do. I have this cracked lamp shade that I inherited from my mom & I really want to give it a coffee filter makeover. What? You've never heard of a coffee filter makeover? Well let me just show you what I mean. You just take any plain old lampshade such as this:

You add a few coffee filters & then you get this cutie patootie!!!

Now how cute is that!! So that's supposed to be my project for today, but alas I have SO many other things that I HAVE to get done that I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to get to it today. But, I can get all my stuff done today & then I'll have ALL day tomorrow to get it done! Yeay me! Oh and also, I don't know if I mentioned this before but there is this GREAT paint store in the town over from me & what it is is these painters decided that once they were finished with a job that they would sell their extra paint. Well, it became such a popular idea that other professional painters decided to give these people their paint to sell as well. SO they now sell all their left over paint for guess how much? $5.00 A GALLON!! Can you believe that? Oh and the best part is that they use all the money from the sale of THAT paint to fund a church that reaches out to people with addiction problems!! That just makes it double great :)

So the other day I had Eugene take me down there & I got a 5 gallon bucket of this glorious grey paint for just $25.00!! I also got a beautiful REALLY light grey gallon for just $5.00. I'm going to start painting my house & I LOVE grey. And because I got so much of the darker color, I can just add some white/blue/purple, whatever to it & make a custom color for different rooms :) I'm very excited to get that project started also. I'll post a few pics when I get there. And I'll be sure to post a few pictures of my lamp shade, before & after too :).

MMR

2011-10-13T22:06:00.002-05:00

Have to go tomorrow to get a 2nd MMR shot, since it seems that I have only had one. :( Not looking forward to that. Also, I'm going tomorrow to put in an application for a free class to become a CNA. Unfortunately they only take like 15 people a month & apparently there's a waiting list. I told the lady when I called that I really needed to be in December's class because I was hoping to start nursing school in January and I'd really like to be able to find a job with that. She said to let them know that when I turned in the application b/c they try to work with nursing students.

So the job situation is at a stand still, and although I know it's going to be tight, I think I'm going to hold off on getting a job. I have a couple of things that I am planning on selling & I may be opening an etsy account & selling some crafty things that I've made recently. I made a really cute dry erase board. I'll try to get a good picture of it & post it on here. My niece wants it so bad, I may just have to give it to her for Christmas. I have another huge frame that I may make into an even bigger one for my office. I think it'll work out great.

SERIOUSLY!!!

2011-10-13T07:52:00.005-05:00

Ok, I seriously need to calm down. I don't know whether to laugh or to, well laugh!! (Not about school). Ok so as I've stated in previous posts I've been obsessing over the decorating blogs & I came across someone who said they LOVED Anthropologie. Now of course I'd heard of the place, but never really shopped there, or been there, at least I don't think I have. So I decided to check them out online. Thinking that in my new crazy crafting lady mode (that's an affectionate term from my dear, sweet, loving sister) I'd be able to you know get some DIY projects from their site. Ok people, have you been there?? Have you SEEN the site?? Are people SERIOUSLY paying this amount for things that I SWEAR I've seen at Walmart, or if I haven't then pretty darn close. Example, this hideous mirror called Angles & Orbs. OMG I mean GROSS (ok if you have this mirror in your house I TOTALLY apologize!). Guess how much this wonderful piece is? $648.00!!!!!!!!!!!! Honest to goodness, I am now on a HUNT for a tacky mirror similar to this that I can put on my etsy site & sell as an Anthropoligie look alike. I KNOW it can't be that hard to find one like this. Goodness people. Ok and then get this one. It's a painting that they're selling. You won't BELIEVE the price. Or maybe you will. Maybe I'm the crazy one that thinks this childish painting isn't worth something. Maybe I'M the one who's missing something here? Could that be? Well either way, this painting is $12,000.00!! Yep you heard me right. Are you KIDDING? There is a little girl that goes to my daughter's school who is in 4th grade that I swear could paint a picture of a horse better than this. I mean I am just blown away!! I'd love to see the person's house who actually buys this and hangs it up!! I could go on, but do I need to? People, if you want a good laugh, head on over to Anthropologie and have a good time on me :)

Oh & btw...

2011-10-10T11:50:00.001-05:00

Remember on my recent post where I said I bought a bookcase for $10.00? Well guess what? I got curious & looked it up online and found another one almost IDENTICAL to it on sale on Ebay for $219.00!!!!!!!! Can you believe that? Well guess what? As soon as I find another bookcase to put in my kitchen to replace that one, that sucker is going ON SALE!! :) Now THAT was a God thang!! :)

Topsy Turvy...

2011-10-10T11:23:00.005-05:00

Ok so things are getting a little hairy around here as far as our money/job situation & fear is starting to creep in. I know this is the time I need to shore up faith in my Father. The One who knows my needs better than I do. Thank God for unemployment! But that little bit of money doesn't go very far when it's half of what you used to make. And it makes it hard to find another job because you don't really want to start a full time job knowing you're going to have to quit it in 2 months in order to go to school (God willing). But it REALLY stinks that all of this is happening right here at the holidays. Thank God for a son who when I asked him what he wanted for Christmas said "I don't need anything". Love him! Once again, looks like it's going to be tight around here for a while, but you know what? I know my Father has this under control.

As far as school is concerened, my future is in His hands and believe it or not I am not worrying ONE BIT about nursing school. Last time I was a nervous wreck waiting to hear about EVERYTHING. But this time I honestly have only thought about it a couple of times and only wondering when I'll get the call. I am walking a new path, one where I'm not LEADING the way and let me just say, it's so much easier being the follower than the leader. It takes a load off ya know?

So please pray with me if you will. Pray for peace of mind knowing that the Father has this under control. And for acceptance into nursing school!!!

Thanks :) Now back to our regularly scheduled programming :)

"Don't let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me." John 14:1

DIY trial & error....

2011-10-07T21:52:00.003-05:00

Ok, so today was filled with so many new things, lol. First I was so excited about getting started today with my new craft ideas that I couldn't even sleep in! I was up oh at 7:15 & people I don't work on Friday's I should have been sleeping in, but I couldn't, I was too excited. Excited for what you're asking? To go to my FIRST yard sale! Now TECHNICALLY it wasn't REALLY my first yard sale, but let's just say it was my first yard sale where I was actually looking for some trash to turn into treasure. And boy did I find some!! I WISH and so REGRET that I didn't take a picture of my beautiful black clock, which started out as an ugly kelly green! I saw that sucker & knew right away I had to have it. He was asking $5.00, but b/c it was rickety, I asked him to take $3.00 & he did. Then I spotted a set of 12 green glasses that would make PERFECT bases for handmade cake stands!! I mean PERFECT! I will take a before picture of those. He was asking $10.00 for 12, I asked him if he'd take $8.00. He accepted! .66 cents or so a piece, not bad :). Then I bought one BIG picture for $2.00 that I think I'm going to turn into a message board, several plates, one candle stick, several silver plates. I mean seriously I got a bunch of stuff that I just can't WAIT to play with. Then as I was leaving I was looking at this cabinet & saw that it was only $12.50. He saw me looking at it too. He said "I'll take $10.00 for it" SOLD!! I brought it home, put it in my kitchen & am totally in LOVE with my purchase. Now the debate on whether or not to paint it, or to leave it the dark wood color that it is. We'll see I suppose. And as I said before, I am totally looking at everything in my house with fresh eyes. Like "Hm, what can I do with this?" or "How can I change this into something else". Seriously, I wish I wouldn't have been so craft happy & that I would've taken a picture of the green clock!! Next time, I promise a before & after!! :)

Refreshing...

2011-10-06T14:06:00.004-05:00

So, I have been DEVOURING these decorating blogs and I just found something else I REALLY love pinterest!! Ah how do I love thee, let me count the ways!! No better yet, I'll just pin 'em! Loving me some pinterest. I've only started pinning decorating/diy/crafty stuff, but recipe's are next on my list. The one thing I need to learn though is how to pin stuff from sites not on pinterest. Right now all I'm doing is "repinning". I need to figure out how to pin my own stuff. Anyhoo, one great part of pinterest is that it's taking me to even more decorating blogs. I think I'm becomming obssessed. I didn't go to bed last night until 1:00 and now I am exhausted!! What was I thinking! So if you don't know what pinterest is, go there NOW! It's so cool! All of this decorating input has gone my brain working overtime. Now everything in my house I see I'm like "Oh I can redo this like this." I told my husband I was going to redo the mirror in my living room & he freaked! But then again this is the same man that NEVER tries anything new to eat. He's perfectly content to eat the same meal every time he goes to a restaurant and NEVER venture to try anything new. Oh he's really gonna be stretched when I get going!!

Future DIY project

Nothing yet on the school front. :0)

Heading to Alabama this weekend to visit my hubby's side of the fam. Looking forward to seeing my nephew play in the band & watching my other nephew play football on Saturday (I think that's what we're watching). Visiting family is always a good thing, especially when we don't get to see them that often. Maybe I'll even post some more pictures, lol. Maybe not though, this phone is a piece of doodie & the pictures haven't been turning out to great. Guess it doesn't help that I have dropped this phone about 100 times in the last week. I know I need a new one, I just don't want to the hassle of having to transfer all my stuff, learn a new phone, blah blah blah. Sometimes I wish cell phones weren't so advanced!! I mean of course then I'd never have known about Pretty Pet Salon (LOVE that game) but I think I could have lived without it, just to have a simpler life, well phone life anyway. :0)

Hope everyone is enjoying this gorgeous fall weather!

Love Sweet Love: Mod Podge Pumpkins

2011-10-05T23:22:00.002-05:00

Love Sweet Love: Mod Podge Pumpkins: Good morning crafters!! Today I have another fun and messy-as promised :) -Halloween craft for you! Mod Podge Pumpkins! Aren't they cute?! ...

On my new list of DIY things to try :) Minus the ribbon.

Soooo excited!!

2011-10-04T21:43:00.003-05:00

Ok, so I know, I know, I've mentioned how much I love blogs and in particular design/diy blogs, but ohhhhhhh I am soooo excited. Looking at these blogs has COMPLETELY gotten me in the mood to do little makeover work around here. First of all, I have a really great desk that a friend of mine gave me that I'm going to tackle a little later. First I'm going to try my hand at some smaller projects. The first one being this mirror I have in the living room. I bought it from Kirkland Home (paying way too much) & as soon as I got it home I had buyer's remorse. Not total remorse mind you, just a thought of "Hm, that's NOT really my style". So now, some years later, I think I'm going to tackle redoing it. I'll take a before picture & then an after picture. I am SO excited. I can't WAIT to see how it turns out. Also can't wait to start hitting the Goodwill & thrift store. Gonna start with some simple craft stuff I've seen also. And spray paint, man can this one woman spray paint anything & make it look FABULOUS!!! Check out her blog if you're into decorating & DIY projects, I went through the whole blog in one day!! I couldn't stop myself! It's AWESOME! I also started an inspiration book. I am writing down all the things I want to try :) I've never considered myself crafty or artsy, so we'll see how this all shakes down in the end. But I am so excited to start!! :)

On the school end. I called today & my file is complete :) Now I just have to wait for the call for the interview again. No worries this time. I've laid it at my Father's feet and I know that whatever happens I am walking in His will. I want to go where He leads and no where else!

Come on weekend so I can get started on this PROJECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Where are the pictures?

2011-09-30T08:42:00.008-05:00

Ok so I was looking back over my blog from like 3 years ago!! Has it really been that long? And I noticed that I used to post so many more pictures. So, I'm going to start that trend again, ok? Ok :) Starting now :0)

This is me and my BEAUTIFUL sister last weekend at The Big Spring Jam.

This is one of the whole fam at Jordan's football game. He is AWESOME if I do say so myself!!

This is me and my PRECIOUS niece LaTeya. I loves her soooo much!! She calls me Pokey, because when she was little I used to call her Punkin and she couldn't say that, so she started calling me Pokey and it's just stuck. It's adorable and I love it and I love her!!!!!

Me this summer on my way to Britney Spear's concert. And NO I wouldn't have chosen to go on my own, but sometimes a girl has to sacrifice for family. AKA my sister FORCED me to go :) But it was fun in the end. Great night with my best friend/sister and also one of our great friend couples Lindsey & Donny.

And this is me and my shadow. AKA Alei. One of the loves of my life. My beautiful, kind, loving, precious baby girl. I'd have to say this is one of my favorite pictures of us.

Ok I guess that's enough pics for now :)

And it starts all over...

2011-09-30T07:40:00.005-05:00

So today I turn in my blue form to the SON & the waiting starts anew....Hopefully this time around I'm closer to the top. Hopefully this time around there aren't as many applicants. Hopefully this time around I say JUST the right thing in the interview. Hopefully this time around I GET IN!!! I will bathe this blue sheet in total prayer before I turn it in & this time around IT WILL BE DIFFERENT!! I am NOT believing the lies Satan has been trying to feed me. I know that this is God's will for my life. It feels right. And yes I am scared to death. Scared of all the nursing horror stories I've heard. Scared for my kids, who I'm afraid I won't be there as much for. Scared for my marriage that I've heard gets really strained during nursing school. Scared that I'm not smart enough. But you know what? I know that God has all of those areas already covered. I know that I will be laying the groundwork to make sure that all of that is taken care of BEFORE I start school in January. I know that whatever happens that this feels like the plan God has for me and I am just praying to continually walk in His will for my life. So again, if you're praying folks, please think of me & my blue form today :)

Love

"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

Two posts in one day....

2011-09-28T15:59:00.003-05:00

Ok so I'm frustrated! I really can't say more, but I am. I'm upset, mad, gagged & bound to a situation that has really caused a total sense of frustration. What is the Lord trying to show me?????? It has to be something. Where is He in all of this? Where is the lesson? The silver lining? The reason?? Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh total frustration is so, so.... FRUSTRATING!!! Sorry to vent.

If praying is your thing, please pray that God's perfect will will shine through in this totally frustrating situation & that I can just give it over.

Thank you.

Wondering....

2011-09-28T11:00:00.003-05:00

Ok, so I go Friday to turn in my blue sheet to the SON. But I am starting to have doubts. I started thinking about clinicals. For those of you that read this & you've already been through nursing school. Do clinicals run late? I mean I know for the LPN program here they don't go past 4:15. That would be fine. I mean getting out any time before 5:00 would be great, but I'm really worried that that's not the case. I mean I have a 15 y/o (soon to be 16) & a 9 y/o, I really don't want to be coming home at 8:00 at night. Now, I'm sure you're saying, just call the nursing dept. at the school & ask, but honestly that lady is so mean, I don't want to call her!!! I called one day b/c I needed them to send me the blue form & I called a couple of times & she actually said "Yeah, you've already called a couple of times today." What!! Well duh, guess what, that form determines whether I get accepted again or not!! I don't know why I'm worrying over it. I'm going down there Friday to turn in my blue form, so I guess I could just ask them then. I just hate this worrying. It's so hard when you don't have family to rely on :(. I have a friend who just went back to school to get her Master's degree & her mom is helping her so much with her two girls & I told her mom she was really lucky to have her. Oh well. I guess I'll just wait & ask on Friday.....

"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" Matthew 6:27

Blogs....

2011-09-27T11:49:00.003-05:00

Ok so have I mentioned how much I LOVE blogs? Yes? Well I don't care, I'm going to mention it again. I have found a new obsession when it comes to blogs. DECORATING blogs!!! Oh my, where have you BEEN all of my life!! I am like a kid in a candy store. I want to just take a weekend vacation at my home, send my family away & just sit and read these blogs ALL weekend long!!!!! Now you have to realize my obsession began a long time ago. I used to subscribe to such magazines as Cottage Living (now defunct), HOME (now defunct), and another one I can't think of the name of. Also, I get Pottery Barn, Ballard's, and any other free home catalog I can get my hands on. I LOVE this stuff. Well as my magazine choices were dwindling I went through a long period of draught, but lo & behold I found these blogs and I am IN LOVE!!!!!!!! Again I say Thank you Lord for the internet and these blogs and thank you for the women (weird how I haven't run across one yet by a man) who take the time to post these fabulous pictures and posts. As a matter of fact, let me go ahead & list some in case you want to check them out too :):

http://bucketsofburlap.blogspot.com/

http://forevercottage.blogspot.com/

http://prudentlypaintedvintage.blogspot.com/ (My personal favorite so far)

http://www.rareandbeautifultreasures.com/

http://saseaboutique.blogspot.com/

http://theletteredcottage.net/

Now just so you know. I love cottage style decorating, so most of these have that kind of slant, but I'm sure there's all kinds of blogs out there for any type of home that you like. Ok, gotta go for now my blogs are calling! Hope you enjoy.

I need....

2011-09-21T14:18:00.004-05:00

I need to find a church. I need help. I need to hear God's voice. I need to know I can get back into His graces. I know He'd never turn His back on me, it's just my own struggles that I'm dealing with. I feel alone in this fight. It's hard with a teenage boy, I don't feel adequate to lead him, yet I don't feel as if my husband is walking with me in this. Last night I was lamenting about needing a new church & I stopped & thought "I haven't even prayed about this, I haven't even asked the ONE who could lead me in the right direction for even a fraction of help." I immediately stopped writing in my journal & prayed, but it seemed like an empty prayer, they all seem hollow lately, like I'm praying into an empty void. Where are YOU? I feel like I'm at a crossroads and I know which way I need to go but I feel the way is to steep to go alone, I need someone to walk with me. And while I know He's there, I'm having trouble seeing Him. There was a time several years back when He & I were walking hand in hand. I KNEW He was there. I could HEAR His voice in answer to my prayers, I saw the stones He was laying with His very hands in front of my feet and I trusted in those hands. But now not only can I not see the hands or the stones, but I don't even see the path in front of me. Why is this such a struggle? I've been His since I was 13, but it just seems so much harder now to come home. I know I need a church home. I need to feel plugged in, wanted, welcomed, fed. So, if you read this blog and you're a praying sort, please lift this up in your prayers if you don't mind.

On a side note, it's getting close to the time I need to be turning in my blue form for nursing school and I have so much doubt. I think it's just Satan putting those thoughts in my head, but I guess one "rejection" will kind of do that to you. I mean do people get turned down twice? I'm sure they do, but I just don't get it, I have great grades. All A's & B's. I made a really good grade on my HESI exam, I guess all in all it just wasn't good enough. I can feel the anxiety building. By the time I get accepted (speaking this into truth) I'll have been out of school for 6 months at that point, I'm feeling a little rusty. Maybe I should just go ahead & continue to study on my own, I mean I know it certainly can't hurt. I wonder if I'm that motivated. I just hate studying random stuff though, I mean who know's if I'll even study something that's relevent. I guess I could always go back over the cardiac system, Lord knows I didn't breeze through that system with flying colors. But I guess in the end I just have to leave it in His hands, and wait for His perfect timing. Easier said than done these days.....

Wow....

2011-09-20T23:37:00.002-05:00

I am so blown away by these bands that I've come across on Youtube, and yes you guessed it, I am a little slow when it comes to music. I LOVE these songs and these groups but for all I know they've been around for years and I'm the one that's been living under a rock. Ok, yes I realize that actually that IS the truth, but I am so thankful that I've found them now. I LOVE these songs and can't wait to hear more. I am only sorry that it's so late at night & I need to go to bed, otherwise I would continue to sit here and listen to more & more songs and be blessed beyond measure by the music of these bands. Thank you Lord for these bands and their beautiful songs!!

David Crowder Band - How He Loves (Slideshow With Lyrics)

2011-09-20T23:35:00.001-05:00

Sanctus Real - Forgiven (Slideshow With Lyrics)

2011-09-20T23:35:00.000-05:00

Sanctus Real - Lead Me (Slideshow With Lyrics)

2011-09-20T23:34:00.000-05:00

Lord thank you so much for this group who has made these songs that not only touch my heart but that I absolutely love. I am just learning about this band and Lord I hope that they are strong, faithful men who have continued to love you no matter their status as a band. I am just thankful for these songs that I've stumble upon tonight, awesome!

Blogs....

2011-09-13T13:01:00.004-05:00

Lord thank you so much for blogs. And no I'm not joking. I love blogs so much. There are the blogs that bless me "A Holy Experience" , there are the blogs that allow me to live vicariously through other nursing students "Frazzled_razzleRN", "NP Odyssey", "Diary of my Life & Nursing school" , there are blogs that allow me to stay in touch with my precious family members "One beautiful life" (this one also blesses me greatly), blogs that show me a glimpse into my future (hopefully) "A Nurse Practitioner's View" and then there are blogs that make me laugh, out loud, and until tears run down my face "Life as we know it". I wish I could get paid for reading blogs, but until that pays a 6 figure salary I guess I'll stay in school and read blogs when I get the chance :).

Now on to the regularly scheduled blog....

So I've mentioned that our family has been going through some stuff and through it all God has really been showing me some things, which I am REALLY happy about. I love it when God peels back the layers of Satan's lies that I have allowed to cover my eyes, and on Sunday I got a real eye opener, so I thought I'd share.

Last Sunday at church the minister was talking about turmoil (he used some surfing term but I can't think of it right now), anyhoo, he was talking about being in that zone where the waves are churning you around and you don't know which way is up and you just want to get out of that zone and while he was talking about it, it hit me like a ton of bricks, my life has been in that zone for a VERY long time. Now I'm not only talking about the last few months with me & Eugene, but I'm talking God REALLY showed me that the environment that I have created in my home is like constantly living in that zone. We live in constant controlled chaos but I didn't realize it was so affecting until this sermon.

See, I've always been a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of girl, I'm sure I've mentioned that in my blogs before. I don't like schedules and I hate making plans, but it's more than that. I've never been what you'd consider a "homemaker", and while I just always thought "that's just not me, that's not where my talents lie" I see now that Satan has used that against me and against my family. I love a clean, orderly house, but I've always said I just didn't want to be the one that cleaned it. Therefore I'd let things go that I could have taken care of immediately and let them build up. Now looking back on it, God has shown me that believing that lie has caused me & my family to constantly live in that zone and this has not only cause outer turmoil between Eugene & myself (because Eugene thrives in an orderly environment) but inner turmoil as well. The Lord made me realize that when I am constantly walking around with that feeling like I should be doing something else, THAT IT'S BECAUSE I SHOULD BE! I always feel a little turned upside down, I never seem to be able to find that feeling of calm, contentment, of peace. I always feel somehow unsettled, like I'm being thrown around in the waves all the time and God really showed me on Sunday that my house is a large part of that turmoil, that inner peace starts with a peace in your surroundings. Man it was like God clapped his hands in front of my face and I WOKE up. The Saturday before church me & the kids had done a bit of cleaning and my house was much more orderly than it had been and as I was walking through the house I just had a feeling of contentment and I thought to myself "Where is this feeling coming from?" and I realized it was coming from the orderliness of the house. My home was more in order and therefore my soul was more in order. The clutter wasn't bogging down my surroundings and in turn it wasn't bogging down my mind. I know I should have seen this A LONG time ago, but like I said Satan used the lie of "that's just now who I am, I'm not like Martha Stewart" to get me to believe that if I couldn't be like Martha Stewart then I may as well just give up and not worry about it. BUT THAT IS A LIE. I don't have to be Martha Stewart to create a calm, orderly home where my family can thrive and relax! Satan lies to us in SO many little ways, ways we never even think about and boy is this a big one in the lives of my family. This has caused many a rift between Eugene & myself. Like I said, he loves structure, planning, being somewhere on time and I've always been just the opposite, it's kind of been like The Odd Couple and Satan lied to me, telling me that Eugene should just accept who I am and that I didn't have to change, but HE IS WRONG. It's not about Eugene, it's about me and the feeling of being constantly tossed around under the waves, that unsettling feeling that I have knowing that there are always a million things that need to be done that I'm ignoring instead of just tackling and getting them over with and I am DONE living like that. I am coming up from under the waves and I'm swimming to the shore where my Father is waiting on me with open arms and I am going to fight against the pull of Satan's tide that "I am who I am", NO I can change and I will change and I'm thankful for my Father opening my eyes to the truth surrounding me.

Just thought I'd share some of what I'm learning. I'm excited that the Lord is showing me some painful truths and I just pray that I can accept the truths and make the changes that I know I need to change. I hope that all made sense. :)

"A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands." Proverbs 14:1

"My people will live in safety, quietly at home. They will be at rest." Isaiah 32:18

8 Miles....

2011-09-11T21:08:00.003-05:00

And no not the movie! That's how many miles me, my son & my husband rode on our bikes today!! It was so much fun. I REALLY love riding my bike, except for the stupid little bike seat. I think I'm going to get one of those noseless seats, maybe that will help with my big booty! But we really enjoyed the whole ride. The weather was beautiful, a little cloudy, with a slight breeze, it was perfect & I can't believe we rode for 8 miles! I have really got to lose weight. I feel like my weight is a hinderance to nursing school. I may be crazy, or I may not, but I really feel like my weight was a down side of my application to nursing school. Not that I have much time to get some weight off, but I would really like to lose some weight before my next interview. Also, it wouldn't hurt to get some off before I have to wear those ALL WHITE scrubs. I mean seriously? The school colors are blue & white, why couldn't we wear blue scrubs???

I have been reading some nursing blogs & looking at the all the expense of starting school & I think I'm going to go ahead & start buying some stuff I'm going to need. Like for instance a stethescope. I'm thinking these are pretty expensive & I should just go ahead & get it while I actually have money, because once I start nursing school I'm only going to be able to work part time & my money isn't going to be so abundant. Of course I was approved for student loans, but dang those barely cover the cost of the tuition & books!! So, I think I'm going to go ahead & start purchasing some of the stuff I'm going to need come January.

I called Blarvard & asked what all I needed to turn in for the Spring semester and thank God I only have to turn in one blue sheet & get my transcript from my last semester sent. They saved everything else...THANK YOU LORD!! I have to have it all turned in by October 1st.

Ok, after 8 miles on my bike, I am going to bed!! I want to blog more, I just can't!

Wonderful weather & game!

2011-09-09T22:38:00.003-05:00

Today was the Coffee Pot and guess what? WE WON!!! My boy got to play and did a pretty darn good at it & WE WON!! #79 made two pancakes and several really great blocks and the weather, oh the weather. Can I just say it was PERFECT football weather. Warm enough to wear short sleeves, but cool enough to wear jeans and flip flops, with a light jacket by the end of the game. LOVE IT!! I have to admit, I have really come to love me some football. And more than just because my son's playing. To me football is the beginning of fall. It's the start of the holiday season, which I know sounds weird, but it just is. It starts with football and ends with Christmas, lol. Well at least for me it does. I was happy to FINALLY get our t-shirts as well. Now the whole family has football t-shirts with Jordan's name & number on them, even his precious little girlfriend! Fun, good times. I had to thank my Lord while I watched Jordan play. Just thank Him for the opportunity for Jordan and for blessing him with this ability. I was just filled with joy watching Jordan out there giving it his all and getting his chance. It was a great end to a kind of long weekend.

On a different note, I am very much looking forward to tomorrow as well. I am starting my volunteer job at a clinic in town. It's a clinic that serves the working uninsured & I am so excited to start. It's run by a nurse, possibly retired I believe & I just know that I am going to learn so much working there & I can't wait. I'll be sure to post more about it tomorrow after I get home. :)

Hoping in the Lord....

2011-09-07T10:06:00.005-05:00

So right now, once again, my life is up in chaos it seems. While some things are leveling out, others are topsy turvy, but I saw the best verse from the Bible today and I am going to focus on remembering this verse:

"But those who HOPE IN THE LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31

Therefore with all the curve balls life is throwing at me right now I am going to hope, not on myself, or on the people at the nursing department at Blarvard, or not on others who I feel have a any semblence of control over my life, but on THE LORD. I am going to count on Him only and hope in Him only, because I KNOW that He wants what is best for me. I know that He will lead me down the right path, so I am going to put my trust, faith and hope in Him today regarding the things that are trying to turn my life upside down. It is so amazing to see how hard Satan is trying to attack our family right now. he knows that we are trying to seek God and he is doing all he can to stop us, to throw things in our way to make life more difficult for us, but still we will praise the Father who will love us through it all.

Again to the praying people that read my blog, if anyone is still reading my blog, please lift up our family in your prayers.

Thanks :)

What a weekend...

2011-09-06T08:36:00.003-05:00

Well let's just say that this has been one very long Labor day weekend. This weekend I was extremely surprised by my son and not in a good way. I found out that he wasn't the person I thought he was, or at least he made a choice that I never thought he would make. I was also surprised to learn of the reputation that he has at school. It's funny but for some reason you always think it's someone else's child, don't you? Well I found out this weekend that it's not someone else's child, it's mine and that broke my heart. So please continue to pray for our family.

On a better note, I really feel like God has done a lot of clearing in my head. For a minute there I was unsure of where I was heading, but after two years of REALLY hard work, I'm not about to let Satan tell me that I'm not on the right path. With the help of my Father I was able to make straight A's in A & P I & II as well as Microbiology and I Micro was the first class I had taken in over 15 years!!! The teacher even recommended that if we hadn't had Biology in the last 5 years that we should really consider doing that & I didn't & still made an A. So I am NOT going to let Satan tell me that this isn't the right path for me. Also, last week I switched health care providers. I went to a Nurse Practitioner here in town who has her own practice to see how I liked her & actually I liked her ALOT. There were several things I liked about her practice. The first thing wasn't medical, it was the fact that she allowed her staff to wear flip flops!! Now for those of you that don't live in a small, southern town, you may not understand this. But 'round here in these parts flip flops are a way of life. From about March to October that's all ANYONE wears. Us southern gals LOVE us some flip flops and so I was very pleased to see that she allowed her staff to wear flip flops. Also, she is a Christian and doesn't make any bones about hiding it. Yes, this I'm sure is another southern thing, which is just one more reason that I'm proud to live in the south. And thirdly I liked the fact that not only did she LISTEN but she actually asked questions, and thank goodness she did because her questions got me to remember something I had forgotten to tell her. She didn't listen to my first two symptoms, give me a Rx & push me out the door. She sat there and LOOKED at me, listened & actively asked questions. I want to be Andrea when I grow up :). She is exactly the kind of provider I want to be. Both personally and professionally. A great dream would be to work with her when I get out of school, now that would be a dream come true.

And lastly, when I went for my nursing interview last time one of the questions they asked was if I did any volunteer work. Seriously? Besides going to school full time, working the other half of the time and raising two kids and having a husband they wanted me to volunteer too? Well needless to say I had no volunteer hours to speak of and I think that may have hurt me. So Friday I met with the director of a clinic here in town that serves the working uninsured and asked if I could volunteer on their Saturday clinic. This must have been a God thing because she said she'd just had two people have to quit & she did have something available. So I start next Saturday and I couldn't be happier. I am officially becoming a volunteer! I'm happy to be able to help those in my community and of course I'll be so happy to offer that up when I asked at my next interview. Also, the lady who runs it is a RN and she's going to teach me to do vitals & other stuff, so maybe that will give me another little heads up in the running :)

Thank you Lord.

Serious attacks...

2011-09-05T00:18:00.003-05:00

Well I guess since Satan sees that Eugene & I are really committed to working on our marriage, he has turned his evilness towards our kids. For those of you who pray and read this blog. Please add my son Jordan to your prayers, and for Eugene & I as parents as well. Too late to write more for now, just please add us.

Thank you.

Face to face...

2011-09-02T07:21:00.005-05:00

Wow so THE VERY NEXT day after my last post, I came FACE TO FACE with my pride issue. I knew that I had been overly prideful with this person and I think maybe that's another thing that may have started my whole inside look at myself, but boy was I right when Thursday rolled around. This relationship blew right up in my face and I saw it coming. But you know what? All I could do was pray about it, confront it and apologize. I have been friends with this person now for several years but this was a new dynamic in our relationship and one I didn't like and I found out Thursday, she didn't either. Well let's just say after our pow wow, I had one really bad day. I was TOTALLY bummed over this, even though I got it out, I apologized and she TOTALLY accepted it, I was still very bummed that it ever happened in the first place. So there I sat at my son's football game. Bummed that he wasn't getting to play in the big televised game, bummed at my situation with my friend and just bummed in general and I knew that I had to turn it over. So right there in the football stands during half time, I just put my head in my hands and really poured out to God what I was feeling. I did my part, I apologized and now I needed to just let it go, so I did, I placed it right there at the sweet feet of my Father. I turned the burden over to him and asked that the Holy Spirit wash over me and I was done with it. I was no longer bummed and I know that however this turns out that I did was I needed to do and all I can do from this point forward is just to be a better, MORE HUMBLE me, but jeez I wasn't expecting SUCH an abrupt halt to my actions, I thought I could ease into being more humble at least. But no Jesus had other plans for this stubborn mule. So, hopefully in the next week we'll see how things go and I'm just going to keep it in constant prayer and go from there. And when Satan tries to put those seeds of doubt in my head, I am NOT going to give in to that temptation to pick it apart 100 more times. I'm done, it's out of my hands and I'm moving on :)

On a different note I have started reading this blog Frazzled_razzleRN and I LOVE it!!! I'm so glad to have found it. I have started purging people and things from my life that have a negative vibe to them and so I had to delete some of the nursing blogs that I followed and I was happily turned on to this one. I started from the beginning and I'm almost caught up to current day. She reminds me so much of myself with all her self-doubts, which is another issue I really need to tackle before school starts back, that's a really bad one and very hard to deal with especially when your in a stressful situation like nursing school already. And one more thing. A friend of mine told me that applying to the Spring nursing program was easier to get into. Lord Jesus, please let that be true and please let this be my time. Love you! :)

Psalm 147:6

"The Lord supports the humble, but he brings the wicked down into the dust." Ouch!!

The day has come & gone...

2011-08-31T10:04:00.004-05:00

So the 29th came & went & no phone call, but.....I guess I just have to accept that this wasn't my time to get in. Can I just say that it was a little hard to accept? I was a little disappointed. I was a little sad. And through it all I've had to have a "come to Jesus" meeting with God in the last few days.

In the past two years I have really been so super focused on what I needed to, on the grades that I have been making, on the plans that I have made and in all that me, me, me I have forgotten to give thanks to God. I forgot to give thanks for the fact that He blessed me with the intelligence to MAKE those A's. That He blessed me with a husband who was willing to pitch in & help with the house and kids and who was and is willing to work overtime because I'm unable to work full time and go to school. That He has blessed me with a vehicle that gets me back and forth to school with no problems. I realized that while I was busy mapping out my life and focusing on what I needed to do to get where I wanted to go, that I lost focus of the ONE who made me. I lost focus of the one that wants me to have everything I desire AND MORE. I lost focus on the one that WANTS to see me succeed beyond my wildest dreams and wants to be there for me when I'm discouraged, or scared about the test coming up. When I'm doubting myself, He wants to be there to be my cheerleader. And though He's been standing on the sidelines for the past 2 years cheering me on, I've been ignoring Him and maybe, juuuust maybe it's time for me to start taking notice.

In the last few months I have really had a lot of struggles. I was fired from a job, which although that was DEFINITELY a blessing, it still was stressful because the owner of the company lied on my unemployment application and tried to get me denied. Therefore I was stressed worrying about whether or not I would get it, but I realized now, that's another time that I should have just turned that situation over to God and had faith that that person's lies wouldn't prevail. That this time evil would overcome by good, and thankfully it was. But, also at the same time my marriage came under attack. Eugene & I have been married now for 14 years and let's just say that it has been one CRAZY, BUMPY, ride and unfortunately Satan was full blown attack mode at this same time. Then of course there was my stress over whether or not I was going to get into school. I mean could more things have been going on at once? All I can say is THANK YOU LORD that we didn't have to deal with any illnesses at this time. BUT what I realized during all of this was that I have to STOP trying so hard to control my life. I struggle deeply with control and pride. I want everything to go EXACTLY the way I planned it and I want it to go MY WAY, because MY WAY is ALWAYS the BEST way. (Control & pride). The last few days have really been a look inside myself. A look at my life from an outside perspective and what I realized was that I HAVE to stop depending on me and start looking to the Father who wants to HELP me. Who wants to COMFORT me. Who wants to LEAD me in the RIGHT direction. I have to stop trying so hard to MAKE things happen and start praying more and asking for God's leading, because HIS way is ALWAYS the perfect way, and obviously my way isn't. So, I have really been in some deep thought these last couple of days and I think God is really trying to peel back the layers of lies I have allowed to cloud my vision. I can't do anything by sheer force of will. I need help and dangit, maybe, just maybe I DON'T always know what's best. I can't see the road ahead, but God can and I just need to remember and rely on that & stop trying to rely on myself so much.

So, I'm excited for the future because I know that my Lord has great things in store for me, I just have to accept that I may not know what they are, but that they're going to be GREAT!!

Sorry if this post was all over the place!! :)

"Great is His faithfulness, His mercies begin afresh EACH morning" (emphasis mine)
Lamentations 3:23 NLT

Fall is coming....

2011-08-24T12:22:00.003-05:00

Oh fall, how I love thee. As a matter of fact I think I did a whole blog before devoted to fall. Although I am sort of sad that summer is almost over, I am looking forward to the things of fall. Usually I would be looking forward to school and unfortunately I'm not, or at least I haven't heard yet, but I am looking forward to other things. Football is one of them. My baby boy is playing on the varsity team this year as a Sophomore and he is doing so great. He was showing me a video of the game the other day and him "pancaking" someone, I was so proud, lol. I'm also looking foward to camping in the cooler weather. I have been officially bitten by the camping bug!!! I absolutely LOVE camping. My friend Melina & I are planning a trip for the kids fall break & I can't wait for it!! Of course there's going to be some weekend trips as well. I think I'm just going to start mapping out campgrounds close to home & just start moving outward. Can't know which one I like the best until we go there. Along with the beautiful outdoors, the main thing I love about camping is just being with the people I love. No distractions, just focusing on the joys of being together. Also lately I've been presented with an opportunity that I'm not sure where it came from. I can't decide yet if it's just an opportunity for a time, or if it's something I need to take a more serious look at, but for right now I'm just trusting that God has put me in this place for now & I am just going to follow His leading to where I need to go next.
Life has certainly been a little stressful these last couple of months, but I am praying for a smoother road ahead and I am knowing that they are coming. Also, I'm a little concerned for my sister. She has been having some trouble with the lymph nodes in her neck & I'm just not too certain that the practitioner's that she's been seeing are as thorough that they need to be.... We'll see, she has an appt on Friday at 1:30 & I'm going to go with her, so we'll see how that goes. Like I said, smoother roads......

Post traumatic stress disorder...

2011-08-15T20:00:00.003-05:00

After being away from the chiropractor that I worked for now for almost a month, it's like my body has to decompress from all the stress it was under working for him. Just knowing I had to go in there 3 days a week was stressful enough, I was just thankful that it was ONLY 3 days a week. You know a person has to be bad when a Nurse Practitioner quits by leaving a note on his desk!! And the other Chiropractor that he hired left before he'd even been there 6 months and so aptly put it that when he left he felt like he had PTSD. I'm sure all of us that have had to endure that man have come away with some sort of mental scar for life! That man doesn't meet a person who doesn't come away for the worse for knowing him. He's truly a scary person and I am so thankful to be away from him! Now I just have to turn it over to God and let him deal with him and I have to MOVE ON & not look back. Oh and on a brighter note, even though he lied to the unemployment department I was still granted my unemployment!! So, now if I do get into school then at least I can count on that for 6 months. The deadlines getting closer & so far no call, but I'm still hoping....

Here's to brighter days ahead :)

Up way too early...

2011-08-08T06:15:00.002-05:00

So last night I was very tired & went to bed, oh around 9:00 pm. Why then, if I was so tired, did I get up at 4:30 & now it's 6:16 & the freaking sun is out, pretty much ruining my chances of going back to sleep. Guess that's what happens when I get on the blogs. Have I mentioned how much I love blogs? Why can't I get paid to do the things I love? I was reading New Nurse in the Hood's blog & I swear it makes me want to run in the opposite direction of nursing school, but she works in the ER & I guess as long as I steer clear of there I MAY not run into the crazy crap that she deals with right? We'll see. I'm reminded of that Grey's episode where they hide out in the Derm Unit. Maybe I should forgo any thoughts of oncology or geriatrics & just gravitate toward dermatology. Who knows, I won't be gravitating anywhere if I don't get in!! Ok, sorry for the slide back towards pity party of 1. Summer is over, the kids are back in school & my personal life has gone to hell in a hand basket but I still have a tiny dream in the back of my mind that keeps me looking forward :) Some days I don't even know how I can still use the smiley face emoticon. I am going back to bed, if even just for an hour.

So pitiful...

2011-07-29T21:51:00.005-05:00

So I broke down & called Blarvard's nursing department the other day to see if they had even STARTED calling the "runner ups" for the program. Good news, they had, bad news, obviously I wasn't one of them!! She was super nice though. I left the DORKIEST message ever & I was amazed that she even called me back. She told me ever so nicely that yes they had started calling a few people but that there was still time that more people could be called, you know like if others fail their summer class, etc. So, my torture continues until August 29th when school starts.

I feel like I'm falling back into that funk again. I HATE being stagnant!!

Here I am again....

2011-06-17T10:22:00.003-05:00

Ok so I'm back again & I feel like whining a little bit, so if you're not into that you may want to skip this post. I hate to do that & I guess I don't really have anything to complain about, but for those of you that have read my blog you know I HATE to wait, and now it seems I'm stuck in perpetual wait-list land!!! You know I just really don't understand. I have a plan. A PLAN PEOPLE!! I mean don't the powers that be realize that I HAVE A PLAN?? My plan was to go back to school & get my RN, then my FNP. I thought I did my part. I took all the classes required. I got straight A's (well ok I got a B in A & P II). I turned in the multitude of crap on time! I passed the HESI with an 86 (higher than a friend of mine who GOT IN!). I aced the interview (maybe that was just my perception). And maybe I live in a dream world, or maybe I just didn't realize that this was how it really worked, but I swear I just thought that I'd apply & I'd get in. I mean I seriously didn't even consider the fact that I might not get in. To say I was dumbfounded isn't far from the truth, I seriously didn't think there would be a problem. But here I sit, WAITING!! I told myself that I would just enjoy my summer off with my children b/c once I DO GET IN then I know I'll just be going non-stop & this may be my last summer to actually relax before hitting the hard stuff for a couple of years, but I guess relaxing just isn't in my DNA, at least not when I have a goal in mind. I don't do relaxing good. I feel jittery & nervous, I feel like I'm treading water instead of actually heading toward the finish line!!!!! Again, if you read my blog you're probably thinking "Oh haven't I heard this story before?" (Ie. my math class that I DREADED & actually ended up pulling an A out of). So again I think I should just shut up & not complain. I should lean on the God I know has my best interest at heart and just go to the lake & RELAX!!! It's just hard, b/c my mind gets the best of me, I am still fervently praying that I get in this fall, there is still that small chance that I will & if so I told God that I will TOTALLY give him all the glory, that I will tell everyone. Ok now that sounds like I'm trying to bribe God, forgive me Lord! Maybe this is to teach me something, surely not patience b/c if so I'm definitely failing that one! But what? I don't know, I guess I'm just grasping at straws when I should just let it go & lean on faith that my Father knows what is best & that His timing is always right on time. So with that said that's what I'm going to do. No more complaining about school, I'm going to relax and enjoy the rest of my summer and when I get into the nursing program this fall I'm going to praise the God that loves me and that knows my future & the blessings that He has in store!!

Have a great weekend!! Love :)

Psalm 107:43 "Those who are wise will take all this to heart; they will see in our history the faithful love of the Lord" NLT

Summer!!

2011-05-07T10:03:00.002-05:00

Well almost. At least I have officially finished the worst semester of school since I've been back. Thank God I only took 2 classes b/c they were the worst classes ever! Statistics was every bit as horrible as I thought it would be, no possibly worse, but thank God (literally I thank Him) for the teachers that I was given. It's funny how short-sighted we are. I have been shown many times in my life that God is in control. He knows what is up ahead and He is in control, yet I still struggle with what I feel are life's "disappointments", one of them being these classes this past semester. When I was in A & P I, at main campus, it came to my attention that b/c they were redoing all the buildings on campus that I wouldn't be able to take A & P II here. I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to get an A & P II class on a T/TH, which are the only days that I can attend, since I work M/W/F & I was extremely upset. See, I've mapped out the next 4 years of my life to precision. My plan is to get my FNP BEFORE 2015 so that I can get granfathered in for the DNP (at least I think that's how they're going to do it), so I have to get all of my classes in a certain order and I was very worried that this was going to throw me off. Also, I was upset b/c Statistics, which I HAVE to have & which I only wanted to take with one other class, was only being offered in the campus that is 2 towns away, it's about a 45-50 minute drive. So here I was praying that I was able to get a T/TH A & P class and DREADING the fact that I'd have to drive to McMinnville to take Statistics. I say this over & over, but I don't know why I torture myself like I do because what I feared as the worst thing ever God turned in to something wonderful. I did end up getting into the A & P II class, only it was in Fayetteville with a teacher I'd never heard of but you know what? It was the best teacher I could have asked for because as I stated in my earlier post, I TOTALLY sucked this semester. I am usually an overachiever, I have to make straight A's, or at least that's what I strive for, but not this semester. This semester I just could never get my head in the game, literally I never did, even in the end, but once again my Lord knew that I was going to be that way and sent me the help I needed. My A & P teacher allowed us to correct our tests & then she averaged the two tests together, I mean seriously? Who does that? She does! And thankfully she does b/c it helped me tremendously. I hate to admit it but I think I only studied for the lecture tests, all together, maybe 3 days! One of the tests I didn't even bother to study for, didn't even look at the notes & I made a 62 or a 64, but guess what? After the corrections it brought it up to an 87! I mean I honestly couldn't believe it. Those corrections saved my life, turns out that teacher & that class was exactly what I needed. As for statistics, EXACT same thing. I told you before, I warned you how terrible I was at math & I was NOT exaggerating. I swear there were times I sat in that class with tears in my eyes thinking I had NO idea what that man was talking about, but you know what, God knew it was going to be like that for me, so he sent me to Mr. Ruetenkroger and thank you Lord for it. I can honestly say I learned probably 1/8 of what that teacher was trying to teach me, but you know what he did? Before each test he would give a practice exam & it was almost identical to the real exam, so I could take that home, work the problems the night before, keep it fresh in my mind & go in the next day & pass the exam. I made 2 100's & an 80, which he turned into a 90 if we turned our work in on it. For our final test he gave us a take home test & then our real final was only 10 questions. I don't know what my final grade is in either of those classes, but I can guarantee that it's better than I deserved in A & P II & better than I would have ever made in Statistics than if I had had any other teacher. My God is always there for me, even when I doubt Him & even when I am focused on my short-sightedness, He knows what I'm going to need before I ever even know I need it. Thank you.

So that brings me to guess what?? FREEDOM!!! My summer break has officially started (even though it doesn't feel like it yet with 30 degree temps at night) and I have SO many things I need to do. My house gets so neglected during the school semester & boy is it. I have a list a mile long of things I need to do in this house, but I'm not going to stress too much, I'm going to have a wonderful, relaxing summer with my kids, knowing that in a couple of years I will be working full time again & that they are growing up before my eyes. My son just turned 15 & already has his permit!! OMG only 3 more years of him being at home *tear*. So I am going to relax this summer & just enjoy being with them & get done what I can when I have the time :)

Hope everyone else is looking forward to summer as much as I am...I have more to post but my hubby is rushing me off the computer.

Have a great weekend!

Wait-listed....

2011-04-17T15:39:00.004-05:00

So turns out the "no news" wasn't that great of news anyway! I got my letter (via certified mail, which didn't mean anything) saying that I had been wait-listed. It didn't tell me why so I called the nursing dept & was told not to worry that basically it's like getting 1st runner up in the Miss America contest (her words not mine). So basically if someone doesn't show, fails one of their classes, changes majors or dies then guess what, I may get into the program. And the kicker is that they can call me all the way up until the day classes start. So limbo here I am. But she did give me some good news, she said that there were a couple of classes that are in the actual program that I could go ahead & take as long as I get permission & at least I would be working on classes that will go towards my nursing requirements. So first thing after this semester is done I'm going to make an appt w/the nursing advisor & get the permission I need to get into one of those classes. No need to spin my wheels. Plus, I think being a student there will give me an edge since I'm pretty sure they give preference to their students first. So, I'm not really disappointed, not knowing I can go forward with some classes, but I still would have preferred a "You've been accepted..." Oh well, such is life....

Oh & btw, I just had my 3rd test in the dreaded Statistics class & I made an 80, but the teacher is giving us 10 points for turning in the practice test so that brings it up to a 90!! So for the most feared and dreaded class I've ever taken, I've made two 100's & a 90!! Only one more test to go!! I don't know why I do torture myself like I do!!!

I suck!!!

2011-04-07T22:18:00.005-05:00

No seriously, this semester I totally suck. I am not really caring for A & P II and Statistics, well I might as well be taking Russian, I'd understand it just as much. But for all of that I am still anxiously awaiting to see if I got into the one and only nursing program that I applied to. I'm wondering if I shouldn't have applied to more schools, but really I don't WANT to go to any other schools. Now I will if I HAVE to, but I don't want to. I want to go to the school that's closest to me, the school where I've met all the pre-requisites. I had my interview last Thursday & honestly I felt like it went really well. I have a friend who's applied also & she had her interview a month earlier & she just got her acceptance letter via certified mail on Tuesday. So, if the logic is that they're working in order of people that they interviewed then I shouldn't expect a letter on the same day that she got hers, right? Yeah, I know that's dumb logic. But I'm still waiting. I guess the saying "No news is good news" can be looked at like, at least I haven't received a rejection letter yet. :) Now back to my sucking. Oh boy do I! I just got finished with the respiratory section of A & P & for the first time since I've gone back to school 2 1/2 years ago, I did NOT study ONE BIT for that test. Let me just say, that was a big mistake. I made my first bad grade in 2 1/2 years. You're dying to know what it was aren't you? You're thinking, "Oh it's probably a C or something, maybe even a high D" HA you'd be wrong! I made.......get ready for it........a 62!!! Yep, you heard me right. I FLUNKED the test!! Was I shocked? Sad? Angry? Upset? Nah, not really. I mean what can you expect when you don't study for a college level science course? But the good news is two things. First I made a 91 on the lab portion, so that's a little redeeming. Second, the professor allows us to correct our missed answers & then gives us 1/2 credit for them. Oh yeah & third, she is throwing out 8 of the questions. Soooo, with all of that, I might come out with a D after all, lol. I never thought I'd think of a D as a good thing, but I just can't get motivated this semester. I think I'm in wait mode. I'm just waiting to see if I got in before I really start kicking myself into gear, which is strange I never did that before. Who knows. I know I'm ready for summer break! I'm ready to kick back with my kids, spend some time fishing, riding bikes and hanging at the lake. Hopefully it's a good rest before the real stuff starts, but we'll just have to continue to wait and see.......

Disappointed....

2011-03-05T19:21:00.004-06:00

So far no call yet for an interview for the nursing program. To say I am disappointed is not exactly how I feel. I believe that God knows the big plan for our lives. He knows what is going to happen before it does (obviously) so when I pray for the call and it doesn't come (or at least it hasn't yet) I just have to know that God knows what is coming around the corner and I just have to accept the fact that it may not be nursing school. At least not in Fall of 2011. That doesn't mean that I will give up. I will apply for the spring semester and I will continue to take classes toward my Bachelor's degree. There are several paths I can take, even if I don't go to nursing school. My 2nd career choice is college professor, no I'm not saying I'm down to my 2nd choice yet, but I'm just saying that I'm not going to sit idle while I wait, I'm going to go ahead & continue to take courses while I wait & if the one happens before the other then so be it. The good thing is, is that I LOVE college. I love learning and therefore I don't look at it as necessarily a bad thing that I have to take more classes.

As far as the home front, everything is pretty good. I am looking forward to some type of break soon. I think Eugene and I are going to plan a trip to Memphis with a "layover" in Tunica. I've never been to Tunica so that might be fun & we haven't been to Memphis in a while. Just a little get away would be nice. I'd also like to do something with the kids too. We were planning a trip to Gatlinburg for Jordan's 15th birthday but with the trouble he's been getting into lately & with Eugene changing crews our April 1st trip has kind of been pushed out a bit, so we'll just have to see what happens, but I know I need a little break of some kind. I also need to make a doctor's appointment, I've been having some heart palpitations, but only at night when I go to bed and only RIGHT before I fall asleep. It's like right before I fall asleep my heart just starts to race and beat really hard. I keep thinking that it's anxiety, you know, catching up with me once my mind settles down. But I am going to go ahead & make an appt to get it checked out.

I heard a bit of interesting news the other day from my sister. She said that she heard that at Vanderbilt hospital that they were no longer going to hire employee's (I'm assuming medical staff only) who smoke. Now, while I am an AVID supporter of banning smoking in EVERY public area that news has me worried on a different level. I need to check more into it. What she said was that she thought that the reasoning was because as health professionals they wanted to set a good example for the patients that they were caring for but that is a slippery slope that really has no end. I mean what's next? They will stop hiring overweight people? I mean those people definitely aren't setting the best example, but then the question becomes overweight to who's ideal? Like I said, I like the "idea" of hiring non-smokers, because really who wants a doctor or nurse leaning over you smelling like a pack of cigarettes, but also where would that end? Anyhoo, just some random thoughts for this rainy Saturday.

Why do I do this to myself?

2011-02-11T09:57:00.005-06:00

Ok, so I had my FIRST Statistics test and let me just say, I REALLY worked myself into a frenzy over this. I was almost paralyzed by the fear I had built up inside myself over this class. I was literally in tears a couple of times thinking about the test & I had built it up to be so terrible in my mind that I couldn't even bring myself to look over the notes, telling myself "What's the point, you don't understand it anyway", therefore contributing even more to my fear b/c then I knew I hadn't studied! I mean it's ridiculous how I let this affect me.

So finally after a day of full blown panic I just said "I'm going to start studying for this test" & you know what? I did. I woke up early the day before the test & studied & lo & behold, it wasn't so bad. Then I studied some more & thought "If only I had been doing this the whole time" & that's when the miracle happened, it started to snow. I was so excited, hoping & praying that school would be cancelled & I'd have the weekend to study for the test, but it wasn't. Well at least my math class wasn't cancelled, but 2nd best thing, my morning A & P II class was cancelled. So I called my friend & asked to get together before our Stats class to study & guess what? I got it. I got all of the questions, Julie helped me with the questions I didn't get & after all that stress and worry I'm pretty sure I made a 100 on the test. Luckily the teacher gives a "practice" test for us to study with, but in actuality it is the exact test that we'll be taking. Sooooo, long, stupid story short, once again I blew something up in my mind to be bigger than it was. I did good and I need to get a grip!! I tell myself every time I do that, that next time I'm not going to blow this out of proportion, but I do it anyway. Lord just help me to get through this ONE class.

Still waiting to hear about nursing school, have I mentioned that I'm a bit impatient?

Thank you Lord for giving me a teacher that hands out the test as a "practice" test and thank you for the snow, you ROCK!

Mathew 6:34 NLT
"So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today."

Can't get into the groove...

2011-02-02T17:31:00.005-06:00

Ok so it's probably the fact that we're displaced but I am having such a hard time keeping up. I am totally not admitting defeat but this math class is really worrying me. I get it. I really do, but the only problem is that while I get it when he's explaining it, it's the retention that gets me every time. I can completely understand what he's saying while he's saying it & I can even do the homework, but remembering the right formula to use later on is a bit tricky. Also, I'm having a hard time admitting that I need help. He gets on a roll & I don't want to be the ONLY person in the class stopping him to go "Um, how exactly did you come up with that figure, when everyone else seems to be getting it", but I know if I don't suck it up & ask for the help I need I'll get behind & if I get behind, forget it.

A & P on the other hand is a different story. I'm not worried about A & P yet b/c I know that I have a little bit of wiggle room. It's not a class that I struggle with, but even so we're 3 weeks into class & I haven't studied one time, THAT is not good. Thankfully tonight we have study group and boy do I need it. Unfortunatly the utility company is coming tomorrow to turn on our power & I have to be there, which means that I have to miss yet another A & P class. I HATE missing classes. I know that it can't be helped, but I still HATE it. I'll just be glad to get back into my house where I can get back into my own routine.

I went onto Blarvard's website today to see if there was any information about how long it takes to find out if you made it into the nursing program but I couldn't see anything about that. I guess I could just call & ask them. I HATE waiting. I want to know EXACTLY where I'm going & the steps to get there & the obstacles that are in my way at all times. Man, that makes me sound like such a control freak. I swear I'm not! Oh then there's work, we won't even get into that ball of wax. Let's just say it's a necessary evil and leave it at that. At least it allows me to bring home a paycheck. Thank you Lord for the job I have when other people so desperately need one. If only I could find a job that paid me to go to school!!! :)

If it's not one thing it's another.....

2011-01-31T13:41:00.005-06:00

So, my classes have started & it's full steam ahead, so far so good until.... derailment.

Last Thursday our 100 (maybe I'm exaggerating) year old fuse box caught on fire at 4:30 in the morning. The house went completely black & there was a sick smell of burning plastic, along with quite a bit of smoke in the living room. Upon inspection of the fuse box we realize that this sucker had definitely caught on fire. I told Eugene that we should call the fire dept. because that's how most houses burn down, a fire in the electrical components in the wall. So after a non-frantic call to our local 911 we hear them coming, wailing sirens all through our sleepy neighborhood. Eugene looks at me & goes "Did you tell them the fuse box was still on fire?" Of course I didn't. Well, one thing I can say is they came prepared, complete with 3 fire trucks armed with oxygen tank clad fireman pouring into to my house... to stare at our fuse box. (Seriously they were very professional & prepared). I think Eugene was a bit embarrassed. So after realizing that this was no quick fix, I sent my sister a little texty poo, letting her know that she needed to get prepared, we were coming to visit. And by visit I meant moving in for the next 4 days or more. Her exact response "WTF?" And that was only the beginning of the debacle of 2011. Please God let the rest of the year go more smoothly than this!!

On a more positive note I got a fortune the other day that read "Your present plans are going to succeed." It is now the screen saver on my phone, just a reminder that all is running smoothly behind the scenes and that my Father is still in charge. :)

Slightly confused...

2011-01-14T14:07:00.004-06:00

So I went yesterday to Blarvard to pick up the "blue form" that I had forgotten the last time I was there. Crazy why it's not on the internet & I had to make a 45 minute trip just for that one form, but whatever. While I was there I thought I'd ask a few questions about the program. First on my list was "Are nursing classes M-F?" The answer I got was sort of unclear. The lady said that yes there were classes every day but not every class was daily. Um ok. The 2nd question was "When do clinicals start?" Like when am I going to have to be there at the ungodly hours of the morning. The answer I got was "Well clinicals start at the very beginning. Wait, not clinicals like going off site, but some classes are clinical classes & they can start as early as 6:45" (Me) "And those start the very first semester?" (Her) "Well you have to get accepted into the nursing program first." (Me - wanting to pull my hair out at this point) "Oh of course (DUH!!)" (Her) "So yes there will be some classes at the beginning that begin very early" I mean really? Can I speak to someone else?? I just figured I'd let it go & just wait & see. The reason I was asking is b/c if I have to be at class, or anywhere for that matter, at 6:45 then my son (who is 15) is going to have to apply for his hardship license so that he can take himself & his sister to school & back on those mornings. Thank you Lord for the fact that the child has been driving some form of transportation since he was 7!!! (I.e. dirt bike, motorcycle, cars on dead end roads & lately bigger roads). I guess I didn't really think about that when I was contemplating nursing school. BUT we can handle anything for 2 years right? Oh & that's another thing she informed me. Nursing school isn't 4 semester's, it's 5. I don't believe I saw that in the catalog. Whatever! All of this will be moot if I don't get accepted for this fall anyway. So we'll just have to wait & see.

BTW...

2011-01-11T12:00:00.003-06:00

I forgot to post but I got an A in A & P!!!!!!!!!!! YES!!!

Whew!!!

2011-01-11T11:51:00.003-06:00

So I just registered for my last 2 pre-req classes, got in just under the wire. I swear it was so nerve wracking, I was actually sweating while I refreshed that computer every second!! But I got the classes I needed & now my last hurdle is to PASS this stupid Statistics class. I'm going to need lots of prayer for this one!! So since we've just experienced the blizzard of 2011, classes start on the 13th instead of today. Can't say that I'm disappointed, although I am ready to get back to school. But since I have to wait until next week to get paid to get my Statistics book anyway (unless they let me use this old one that I have), I'm not too sad that there's been a bit of a postponement in classes starting. Well, I said that was my last hurdle but actually it's not. My last hurdle is applying to the nursing program & I have to have all of my crizzap (my son hates it when I use that term) turned in by Feb 11. I can't remember if that means I just have to apply by then or if I have to have my HESI taken by then. I don't think I have to have my HESI though bc what would be the point of taking the HESI when I'm still taking A & P II? I'll definitely have to check into that, because really I haven't done much studying. I have the book but I wonder how much help it will really be? Anyhoo, just excited that I got the classes I needed, can't wait for Thursday! :)

And the beat goes on...

2011-01-07T13:14:00.004-06:00

So, I have officially been accepted to Blarvard which is the first step in applying to the nursing program this fall, but now I have to take the HESI & get all my application stuff done & sent into the SON by February 11. I swear I feel like everything is just bearing down on me. Then today I was told my Blarvard that the stupid math class I took 2 summers ago didn't transfer & so according to their records, I have no college math credits. UGH!! I HATE math. But this Statistics class that I'm taking this semester will satisfy that credit that is if I pass. Anyhoo, one baby step closer to hopefully being in the Fall 2011 Nursing program :)

Break's almost over...

2011-01-05T12:11:00.004-06:00

So Christmas was wonderful, the break was fantastic and now I'm ready to get back to school. I went yesterday & got my High School transcript to be sent to Blarvard, which is ridiculous really, if I've been to college why do they need my high school transcript, but whatever. Eugene & I took the trip down to Huntsville & got that done. I went by Motlow & had them forward my shot records & my transcript from there, so I should be good to go as far as getting accepted for the Spring Semester, which is another thing I don't understand. Why do I need to be accepted for the semester before when I'm not applying to nursing school until the fall? Whatever, it's done. Now I have to schedule the HESI. I am so dreading it. How do they expect someone to pass the HESI when they've never had this stuff? But I have to have all of my nursing school stuff turned in by February 11, in order to apply for this fall's nursing program. I am so nervous. I only have two more classes to take (which I'm taking this Spring) & then I'm done w/my pre-reqs, so if I don't get in this fall to the nursing program I guess I'll just sit around & twiddle my thumbs until I do get in. My A & P teacher gave us all the "don't put all of your eggs into one basket" speech, but when you're 38, what else are you going to do? I'm NOT going to change my major at this point. I have the path laid out before me & by gosh that's the way I'm going, come hell or high water!! That is if I even get into A & P II. I'm still not registered for the spring class, it was full & now I have to wait until the "purge" & pray & hope that I get into this class, otherwise I am totally screwed. I HAVE to take A & P II from Motlow & they don't offer it in the summer. I wonder how well a monetary bribe would work to get me worked into the class ;). School starts back next week. I'm kind of sad though b/c I won't be going to the main campus & I love that campus, with all it's trees, it's such a pretty campus. On top of the fact that both of the classes I need are in two totally different cities, neither being the city where I live. I have to drive 30 minutes one way for my morning class (IF I get in) & then come back to town & drive 40 minutes the OPPOSITE way for my afternoon class!! I mean jeez. Maybe I can catch a nap in between :). No matter what, I'm still looking forward to it all!

Disappointing...

2010-12-21T15:26:00.002-06:00

So even with my 5 x 8 card and EVERY note she gave us written down on it, I only made an 88 on my final lecture exam. I made a 96 on my lab exam, but lab was never my problem. So, unfortunately because of the one day that I missed class b/c Eugene had surgery & the subsequent bad grades I made on a quiz & on the test on that subject, I will only be getting a B in A & P instead of the A I so desperately wanted. I know some people will go "Why are you upset by a B"? And really I can't explain it to you. I am a perfectionist. I'm competitive. I wanted to make an A. And I'm not blaming the teacher or anyone else. I should have studied more, period. But I'm still disappointed.

Now on to bigger and better things, such as Christmas!! :) I love Christmas. I love, love, love Christmas music. I love my Christmas tree with all the colored lights and I love a roaring fire in the fire place. I love everything about Christmas, well except for spending too much money, which I am thinking I will not be doing in the future. Since Eugene was out of work for about 2 months our finances were depleted a bit & I had to have "the talk" with the kids about how they wouldn't be getting as many things this year for Christmas, but somehow even with the talk there still seems to be more presents under the tree than I had anticipated. I really want to start curbing spending around this time of year on things that are unnecessary. I just read a really great and heartfelt blog by my cousin about why she and her family have decided to stop celebrating Christmas, but I can't see myself going quite that far, ever. I love the feeling of Christmas. I do think it's way commercialized and that people probably spend more than they should or that they can afford, but otherwise I love this time of year. Also, I am thoroughly enjoying not having to work or go to school and while I am looking forward to a new semester of school, I am going to enjoy my 3 weeks off. I'm going to bake cookies and take naps and just enjoy life as it comes.

One more to go...

2010-12-16T10:17:00.003-06:00

Finally finished my A & P finals. Even with being able to use a 5 x 8 note card for the lecture, I still missed some! Hopefully though not to many that I can't get an A. I have to make at least a 90 or above on both the lecture & lab tests to score an A in that class, othewise it's a B. I REALLY, REALLY, want an A. I only have one more final, in Art & then I am done with this semester, one more semester on the books! I can hardly believe it. During break I am going to get all my stuff together for Blarvard & then next semester I can apply to the Nursing Program. I am so excited but nervous at the same time.

Finals!!!

2010-12-13T12:42:00.005-06:00

So I finished my English Lit II final, A in that class. Tomorrow was supposed to be my Lab final in A & P but it came a blizzard here so it's been postponed to Thursday, which means I will have 3 finals all on the same day on Thursday, but that's ok, it gives me several more days to study what in essence I'm having to teach myself anyway. Looking forward to getting these classes done so I can focus on getting all of my crap turned in to Blarvard, it's getting down to the wire on that one!!

You know what? BTW I also have a life outside of school. This weekend Eugene & I went to the annual Shriner's Ball in Nashville. The first year we went we had a lot of fun. Of course we spent the night in Nashville & our hotel was right around the corner so let's just say that I got to imbibe a little, well no imbibing this weekend. Alei's bday party was Sunday at 1:00 so we had to go home after the ball and also, for some reason they chose the ball as a place to give out some awards for something. Of course we had no clue what the awards were for or who was getting them because the sound system was terrible. So while they're announcing the awards everyone in the whole room is talking & laughing to each other and in the background you can hear the principal from Charlie Brown giving out awards & some cheering every once in a while. Can I just say that if you want to give out an award then could you call a meeting to do that? I mean turning on the lights in the middle of a ball to give out awards for an hour puts a bit of a buzz kill on the party. I'm not sure if we'll be attending that soiree again if it's going to be like that again. Here are some pics :)

I'm pretty sure this picture was during that break when they turned the lights on & were giving out the awards, so we took advantage of the lights to get some pics :) This is me & my friend Diane.

I know this picture is blurry but it's the only one I have of me & Eugene.

Almost over...

2010-12-09T15:06:00.002-06:00

It's getting down to the wire. I took my Eng Lit II exam today & got an A in that class. Next week I have my A & P lab & lecture test. So far I have a B in that class but I REALLY want an A. I am so irritated that the "review" for the biology & chemistry took up so much of the class, it really pulled my grade down since I had to miss one class for Eugene's surgery & was totally lost as I'd never had chemistry before. But oh well, for the lecture final the teacher is allowing us to use a 5x8 notecard & believe me I can write REALLY small, so I am praying for an A, we'll just have to wait & see I guess. Art is no problem, I have an A average in there so an A is guaranted. I can't believe this semester is almost over. I wasn't sure if I could handle three classes but I pulled it off and I can't wait until next semester to begin, although I am looking forward to the Christmas break, do a little brain relaxation.

On that note, I haven't even begun shopping. I've haven't waited this long to start shopping since the days that Eugene & I worked at Lonestar & I operated on a cash only waitress' salary. I love the holiday's, I am so glad that the weather finally turned cold (although I won't be glad to see the heating bill). I love a cold holiday season, I just can't get in the holiday spirit when it's 60 degrees outside. I'm ready for a fire too, we really need to get some firewood, hopefully this weekend.

Well, one final down & 3 to go, yeay me!!!

Major Test...

2010-12-06T17:14:00.003-06:00

So, I'm nearing the end of this semester. I have to say I am pretty pleased with myself. I was apprehensive about taking 3 classes on top of my life but it worked out great. I retook a class that I made a D in 20 years ago & have now gotten an A in it, so that will definitely help my GPA and & I have done pretty well in A & P. I have a major test tomorrow on the nervous system & the teacher said that it's usually her lowest scoring test results. Well I can see why. If the teacher uses a whole MONTH reviewing Biology & Chemistry & then misses two class periods & then tries to throw the last bit of information at you at the end of the semester, well I can see why students would score poorly on these last few tests. In fact, for the final she has changed it from a comprehensive final to just the section on Special Senses and Integumentary AND is allowing us to use a 5 x 8 note card (front & back) during the test. Can we say 100's for everyone? But really what else was she going to do? She can't lecture on 15 pages of notes in 2 periods. It's kind of frustrating actually, but we'll see. She said that last test is usually everyone's best grade....well I wonder why.

I am so happy that this semester is almost in the books but it's getting closer to HESI time. I guess I need to go ahead & schedule a date to take the test. I think I'll wait until January, get Christmas out of the way & use the two weeks off to study for it. On another positive note, I had some good news about Statistics. I have heard now from several sources that the class is really easy, which really calms my fears a lot. Especially coming from a 19 year old who said he had to take the remedial math courses when he came to Motlow & then the next class he took was Statistics and he's making an A in it. Makes me feel MUCH better.

Heading to my study group tonight, hoping to cram as much information as possible in those 3 hours. I can tell I'm a bit apprehensive about the test though b/c I woke up at 5:15 this morning going over the notes in my head and I am NOT a morning person. My eyes don't usually crack open until 7 am. But I just kept going over it & over it, so finally at 6 am, I got up, went out into the bitter cold to get my backpack & just studied until 7. Here's hoping for an A!!!!

Ditching...

2010-11-30T12:28:00.005-06:00

Ok so what am I doing? Ditching my English class. I just couldn't do it today, it's poetry time and I hate English poetry, well actually I hate most poetry. So here I sit on the computer, reading more blogs (how I love blogs) and ditching my English Lit II class. In actuality though I'm reading so doesn't that count for something? Oh AND I'm writing, so really it's almost like I'm in class. As a matter of fact, let me bust out a poem:

English Lit II
It's you I do not love
If you were any more boring
I'd have to pull the plug

See, I should get credit for being in the freaking class :)

So last night as I was cramming for my quiz today in A & P I was fretting and worrying. It's just a little quiz given to help those people who need to pull their grade up. It's no biggie, usually less than 20 questions, easy peasy stuff, so why was I worrying? And why did I let the worry get so out of hand? The worrying started b/c I hadn't looked at the stuff all holiday weekend long & honestly I had great intentions of doing so. So here I was studying the 7 parts of the brain that we needed to know & their functions. Yes I said 7, I told you the quizzes were easy, BUT the worrying started kicking in. I was recalling the recent blogs I had read about the exit exam for NP's. All of stress and worry from those bloggers all of a sudden started to invade my brain. The worry from my little quiz went something like this (and be ready it's a roller coaster):
1. I haven't even looked at this stuff for 3 days, how will I remember all of this in one night
2. I wish I had been able to get together with Teresa tonight to study.
3. Maybe I need to study with a group to learn this.
4. Didn't I study mostly on my own in Microbiology and make an A?
5. If I can only make good grades by studying with a group, what does that mean if I don't get into A & P II next semester with Teresa? We won't be able to study together.
6. What am I going to do once I get to Blarvard, then I won't have Teresa to study with.
7. If I can't study by myself and make good grades then maybe I shouldn't even apply to nursing school.
8. What if I don't do good on the HESI?
9. Maybe I shouldn't aim for being a NP, maybe I should just stop with nursing.
10. What am I going to do about my statistics class, if I don't pass that class I'm screwed anyway....

And from reading my blog you know where my mind goes when it gets on the Math is the ultimate evil path!!!! Soooo, I studied some more, felt fairly competent in my ability to pass this quiz & got to school on time. Only to find out that the quiz is actually Thursday and not today. !! Why do I do this to myself? I don't know why I borrow more worries from the future, am I the only one that does this? I hate worrying. I swear I'm not a worrier by nature, but school is just this thing. It's the end all and be all when it comes to my future. It's my lifeline, sometimes it feels like without it I don't know who I'd be or actually that I'd be no one. I'd go back to just being a wife and a mother, how is that enough for some people? Why isn't that enough for me? I guess b/c in my mind neither of those things are forever but honestly from what I've seen they just aren't. As we all know children grow up and off they go and marriage, well not to say that I don't think my marriage will last, but seriously my one marriage has lasted longer than all 4 of my mother's marriages put together, so let's just say that my faith in that one is a little tarnished.

So that leaves learning. Learning to me is this other world. It's a world of endless possibilities that's just waiting for you to walk into and then out of. It's a door that beckons for you to walk through it and on the other side is "the real world", which is kind of silly seeing that I've lived in "the real world" now for almost 20 years, but on the other side of this door is an alternate world, the world that I should have entered a long time ago, but I got sidetracked and now I can see this other world, kind of through the looking glass, and I want it so badly and I feel like I'm slowly getting there and sometimes everything is going great but then other times the dread worrying comes in and muddies up the water and the self doubt starts in and I know I do it to myself. I swear every time I accomplish something that seemed impossible at first I tell myself "If I can do that, I can do anything" and then something else "impossible" pops up & I start doubting myself again, I don't know why I do that, why do I self-sabotage?

Ugh, too much to think about anymore....Maybe I should just lay off the blogs for a little while.

Time table...

2010-11-27T10:57:00.004-06:00

I'm hard headed. I don't listen to anyone else. If I know something is right then guess what, it's right, even when it's wrong. So the other day I was thinking about the future & about school (what else is new, I know) & I realized that 5 semesters is actually 2 1/2 years. Ok so you're probably thinking "Um duh" but I swear I don't know what I was thinking, but 2 1/2 years wasn't it!! Now don't get me wrong, I'm ok with it because from what everyone has said I really need to get some experience under my belt before I start practicing as a NP, but I just don't know what I was thinking. How long did I think 5 semesters was going to take? And of course that doesn't include summers. I don't know why. Why can't they offer classes during the summer? Wait, no it's online so hold on, if it's 5 semesters straight then it will only take me 1 1/2 years right? Ok, I'm back on track!! Lol Lord I'm a mess. Ok enough obsessing about this!

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. It's weird since mom died, Jaime & I get together but it's just not the same, it's like a fragmented family. I kind of feel like gypsy's every year having Thanksgiving with different people. Last year it was with Jaime's step mother, this year it was with Jaime's mother in law. Now don't get me wrong, I love all of those people, it's just like I said, it's not the same. One day when our kids are grown and they come home and we all get together maybe then it'll seem more like when we were growing up. I don't know what I'm trying to say. This is my favorite time of year though, I LOVE the build up before Christmas. I love Christmas lights, Christmas decorations and most of all I LOVE Christmas music. I love the radio stations that play all Christmas music all the time. I adore it. It gives me a warm fuzzy feeling, it reminds me of the stories in the books, let's just say, I love it!! And I'm happy that it finally got cold too. There's nothing worse than a 70 degree holiday, that does NOT put me in the holiday mood. I have to have cold weather to go with my holiday cheer :)

Football, Christmas music, food and family, those are the things I love about Thanksgiving! :)

Getting excited...

2010-11-21T16:46:00.004-06:00

Ok so up until now I haven't really accepted the fact that I might one day actually obtain the dreams I have. It's like I know what I want and if you ask me I'll tell you. I'll tell you my plan. You want to hear it, hear it is. Go to nursing school, get my nursing license, go on to NP school. Get that license (all by the time I'm 41 mind you). Get as a NP, possibly somewhere in an underprivilaged area in order to pay back my student loans, but maybe not. Work for a couple of years to gain experience & save money. Open my own practice with another NP. After that practice is successful, open two more staffed with NP's who are interested in buying out the practice some day. Practice until I'm at least 60 with many vacations in between to travel. At 60 sell off my practices and teach college. That is my LOOONG term goals and I know it like the back of my hand, but honestly I still feel like I'm "playing school". I got my letter today from Blarvard saying they had received my application. I have to apply the semester before I apply to nursing school (not sure why). I know it's not even an acceptance letter but it still made me feel like I was inching closer to my goal. I don't know what I'm going to do when I actually get an acceptance letter and not only into Blarvard but into the nursing program itself, it just makes it seem so much more real.

Nervous...

2010-11-15T12:46:00.003-06:00

So I was reading some posts on allnurses.com & they were kind of making me nervous. There were posts saying that all nurses are going back to get their NP licenses (I know that's an exaggeration but that still doesn't make me feel any better) and how the market was going to be saturated & that you should have 3-5 years nursing experience before you go to NP school. All of that makes me nervous. I don't plan on practicing 3-5 years before going for my MSN, I'm 38! I want to retire at some point (well not really cause when I retire I want to teach at the college level) and enjoy my life! I really hate that I waited this long to start this process, I wish I had had someone to push me more when I was younger, but such is life....

Weekend...

2010-11-14T16:27:00.003-06:00

So we ditched the movie. I wanted to go to the 6:50 movie but I don't know what I was thinking, the Alabama game started at 6:00, so that was out. The next movie started at 9:50 but I'm telling you with this time change, I have turned into a bear over night. As soon as it gets dark I just want to head straight for the sheets, actually the blankets. So no movie and while I have studied a bit for my test on Tuesday, I am looking forward to our little study group tomorrow night. There is nothing better than studying with other people. I know some people like to study alone, but it really puts things into perspective for me when I have other people to bounce the information off of. I can't believe that this semester is almost over. I am irritated though b/c my student account has been put on hold b/c I paid my payment plan late (I know that's not their fault), therefore the A & P II class that I need is, of course, already full. I emailed the teacher & asked her to put me on the waiting list (as this is how I've gotten into some of my other classes) only to be informed that there was no waiting list. That basically I'll have to wait until a few days before class is supposed to start & hope that I get into the class once the people who haven't paid have been purged. Which means that one cold January morning I will be sitting on my computer at 12:01 am HOPING & PRAYING that I can get into this class. All of this because the buildings on campus are being renovated one by one causing a classroom shortage, therefore the classes have been changed. Now instead of offering the classes on Tue & Thur like before, they have the lecture on Tue & Thur & the labs on Mon or Wed. Seriously? Who wants to take a class you have to go 3 days a week anyway and even if I wanted to I can't, I can only go to school Tue & Thur since I work MWF. I was so upset when the teacher mentioned this that I had to leave class & compose myself. I know I should have a "back up plan" for if things don't go exactly they way I am planning for them to, but I don't want a back up plan, I want things to go the way I planned for them to!! If I don't get A & P II by next summer then I can't apply to nursing school next fall and that would just put me over the edge right now. I have everything set in my mind exactly how I want it to go and dang it, it needs to go that way!!

I'm doing it again...

2010-11-12T12:45:00.005-06:00

Ok so I'm doing it again. It's getting closer & closer to my Statistics class. People, I'm not exaggerating when I say I'm a mathematical dunce. As the date draws nearer I am actively thinking of other careers I can pursue that don't involve any more math than the College Algebra that I've already taken. I know I'm torturing myself, but I just can't stop. Math is like my Kryptonite, just the thought of it has me writhing on the floor. It's funny because I consider myself a pretty smart cookie. I get straight A's in all of my other classes so I should be able to figure out this statistics class right? Let's hope so...

In better news I am acing all of my classes this semester. I was a little apprehensive about taking 3 classes on top of my life, but I am breezing through, so far so good. I just took my Muscle Lab & made a 96. I am a little bit worried about the lecture test though. I had heard that muscles were the hardest section in A & P so I really dug into the lab, so much so that I kind of short shifted myself on the lecture so I'm going to have to put quite a bit of study time in this weekend. Of course Saturday night is out. Eugene & I are going to see For Colored Girls and I CAN'T wait!! We don't ever go to the movies, most movies aren't worth going to see, but this one I WANT to see. Other than that I plan to have my nose in my notes all weekend. Also, my A & P II class is full. UGH!! I emailed the teacher & asked to her put me on the waiting list, only to be told there's no waiting list. I just have to wait until the people who don't pay are purged and then pray I get an open slot. I mean seriously! Actually attending school is a piece of cake it's getting into an actual class that's hard as crap!! But I am applying to Blarvard for next spring and then I will apply to the nursing program by Feb. Man it's getting close. So close yet so far away, that's how all of my dreams feel. But I'm keepin' on and loving every minute of it!

So far so good...

2010-10-15T12:26:00.003-05:00

So A & P has started & I've had my first lab & lecture test & so far so good :). I hate that feeling though while you're waiting for the first test. I was so nervous about my lab test that I couldn't sleep at all the night before. Even taking 1/2 of a sleeping pill I couldn't sleep!! But I worried over nothing b/c I made a 92 on my lecture test & a 98 on my lab test! Yeay me! :) I also got my first paper back in English Lit II & I made a 92 on it :O). I am still loving school, well except for Art, but at least it has become tolerable. I made a 110 on my first test, soooooo I'm hanging in there. I swear I wish I had that remote from the movie Click, although there are some portions of my life I'd like to hit the pause button on. In a perfect world I could pause my children getting any older while I pursued my education & career on fast forward, but since life doesn't work that way I guess I'll just have to take one day at a time.
On a sad note, my "mentor" or at least a really good friend who I have really looked up, told me recently that she is battling breast cancer. This is a person who (like me) started nursing school at 41. She did that for several years and then went back & got her NP license. She has been a nurse practitioner now for almost two years and then this. This is exactly the type of thing I am terrified will happen to me. FINALLY when it seems like life is good and right, something like this will happen. I told her she was NOT allowed to be sick because she was my road map to the future and I was NOT planning on being sick and she wasn't allowed to be either!!! So if you're reading this, please pray for my dear friend Deborah. She is an awesome woman and a great inspiration, not just to me but to all the nursing students who train under her, to her family and to her friends.
Life...you just never know.

Time...

2010-09-14T15:50:00.005-05:00

Time, it's my thing, in case you haven't already noticed. It either goes by too slowly or too fast, it's never perfect, at least not to me. School is in full swing & I am loving every minute of it. Well that is except for Art Appreciation, I am seriously having a very hard time appreciating it, especially as my eyes grow heavier by the second in that class. And the sad thing is, is that's it's not TOTALLY boring, I mean there are some interesting snippets (albeit very small ones), but I just have NO interest whatsoever in art. I don't know why as a nurse I need to appreciate art!! A & P seems to be at a stand still. The professor had this bright idea that we needed a little background in Chemistry & Biology so we're doing a mini-review of those two subjects before we start the real stuff. I'm not digging it too much really. But, thank GOD Teresa is in my class. Teresa is an "older" student (like myself) who was in my Microbiology course & is a wonderful study partner. I LOVE study dates. I love getting together with someone else & hashing out all the crap we just learned. Have I mentioned how much I love school. I know I gush! Unfortunately b/c I was such an idiot the first time around I am having a hard time getting financial aid, which means I have to pay for all of my classes & books straight out of my pocket & let's just say that it gets a bit expensive!!! But hopefully after finishing these 3 classes (with straight A's, a girl can dream!) then my start/finish ratio will be up to where it needs to be & by the time I get accepted into the nursing program at the much more expensive Blarvard, then I will be eligible again for some freaking assistance!!!

I guess I wouldn't be as stressed if Eugene weren't out of work & fighting a denial from his workman's comp!! That in & of itself is beyond frustrating. But I know that all things work out in the end, so I'm trying not to worry about all of this too terribly much. On top of all the crap at work (too much to go into detail about).

The kids are doing great though. Jordan is LOVING every minute of football. I know my mom would have LOVED to come to his games. She would have been so proud of him. And Alei is doing her little cheerleading thing & prissing about all over the place. I really need to upload some pics. I have lots on my facebook, but I never seem to get them over here. I need to work on that.

But other than school for everyone & work, what else is there. We are trying to enjoy this last bit of gorgeous weather & I need to get my butt in gear & start gathering all the million's of things I need to apply to nursing school for next fall. And so time is flying while crawling by at the same time.

My life's dilemma :)

Scared out of my whits...

2010-09-02T15:09:00.003-05:00

Ok so next semester is going to be make or break. Next semester I'll know if I'm going to be able to follow the dreams I have set in place (namely to get my nursing degree, become a FNP, open 3 walk in clinics, retire w/in 10 years of doing that & teaching at college level) OR if I'm going to have to pursue a whole new dream.... What, you're thinking, could be persuading me away from a path I seem to have so carefully laid out in front of me?

Math!!

Math is my Achille's heel, it's my arch enemy, it's my MAJOR downfall. I can't even begin to explain how much I hate math. Not only do I hate it, but I am a complete dipwad when it comes to doing it. Yes I can get an A in Microbiology, even though I haven't been to school in almost 20 years, but I'm terrified that I won't be able to pass the ONE math class I have to have to apply to the nursing program. I swear I'm thinking about going ahead & starting with the tutor NOW!!! Why oh why do nurses need a Statistics class??? I mean seriously? I don't get it. I know I shouldn't be worrying my pretty little head over it now, I mean I still have 3 more months before I even have to attempt the beastly class, but I just can't help it. What am I going to do? I mean I really haven't even thought of a "back up plan"!! Sooooo, maybe I should think about it..... Isn't the saying "Don't put all your eggs in one basket"? Well, I've definitely done that. I don't know what to do. I need to just pray about it and wait I suppose. Ughhhhhhh

Now to get through the most excruciating class I've ever taken, Art Appreciation. O my word, I can't even begin to describe how utterly BORING this class is. It was a toss up between this and U.S. History and seriously, I'm thinking I made the wrong choice. At least that would have been INTERESTING!!!

But I do enjoy being back in school. Even if taking 3 classes does sometimes seem a little extreme. Especially with a job, 2 kids with busy schedules & a husband, but I think I'll be alright. I know I can do it. I think I can, I think I can. I think therefore I am. Whatsoever a man thinketh, so he is. Get the point?! I CAN DO IT!!!

Lord I've lost my mind hahahahahaha............

Wow...

2010-08-31T11:44:00.004-05:00

School has started back & I'm not exactly sure what I've gotten myself into. I am taking 3 classes this semester b/c I am really trying to get through this year & into the nursing program by Fall of 2011, which is fast approaching. I mean I know I still have another year, but the list of things I have to get done before then is, well a little daunting, but I know something I can do.

I was so happy to drive up to campus this morning. I love school. I love the atmosphere here. Well all except being in class with a bunch of 18 & 19 year olds, that I could do without. But I love the institute of higher learning, what a great thing college is. How I wish I could have had this appreciation the first time around.

I'm gonna throw up!!

2010-08-20T12:19:00.004-05:00

Ok, so I went the other day & talked to the nursing advisor at Blarvard. OMG I had no clue I had to get all this crap done so soon!! I mean I have a boatload of stuff I have to get signed, notorized, sent in, applied for, approved and mailed off and all by October 1st!!!

So while I was there, of course, I had to give the advisor my transcript and mind you, this is my transcript from 1991-1993 when I was the biggest idiot in the world & didn't think flunking out of a class or dropping out of it twice before finally finishing it was any big deal, I mean I'm sure I thought, "Who cares as long as I get it done in the end & get a good grade on it" well little did my dumb ass know that that wouldn't be for another 20 years at which time I'd DESPERATELY need those good grades to look good on my transcript!!! Oh if I could go back to that time & just slap the crap out of myself!!

So I'm reading on the list & it says I need a 2.8 GPA to apply & my sorry self only has a 2.6 b/c of all the idiocy in my past. Fortunately the 2 classes I took last semester were both A's, and I plan on getting straight A's this semester too, which I'm sure will help. But it almost feels like too little, too late. Then there's the issue of getting all of this stuff done & turned in by October 1st. I swear I've never felt like two months was such a short time. THEN on top of all that there's the fact that I could possibly be rejected. Ugh the pain that would cause, I mean I'm no spring chicken & I have this career thing timed out perfectly & I don't want ANYTHING to mess up my time line!! So, I'm putting it out into the universe NOW. I want to get accepted to nursing school for the Fall of 2011 class. I want to pass the HESI with FLYING colors and I want the school of nursing to accept the clinical crap I'm currently doing as a CTA as good enough to count 1/2 points toward my total point average needed to apply to nursing school.

Geez....It seems like the summer off & my complaining about how sloooow things are moving has just hit freaking warp speed & now it's full steam ahead!!! So keep me in your prayers that I can get all of this accomplished by October 1st!!!! :)

Another school year...

2010-08-05T12:11:00.004-05:00

So another school year has started. Jordan is LOVING high school and Alei likes her 3rd grade teacher. It is HOT here in TN, but I am anticipating the fall, both for football since this is Jordan's first year playing and for the weather. Alei is going back to soccer and I believe she's going to cheer for the Frank Mullins football team, so that will be fun, it'll be football galore, which should make my husband happy!! Although I'm not too sure how excited you can get about an 8 year old's football game.

I am so thankful to God for all the blessings he's put into my life and can't wait for our small group at church to start tonight. I have been praying about church, I can't decide if the church we're currently attending is where God wants me to be or maybe He wants me there & I'm just not feeling it, so I'm praying about that one. I'm anticipating my own school, which starts later than I thought and am enjoying these last couple of weeks with the kids in school and my Tuesday's and Thursday's free. Not too terribly much going on besides that...

20 years!!!

2010-07-23T12:05:00.003-05:00

So tonight is my 20 year high school reunion. How can that be? I swear I feel like I just left that place. I didn't go to my 10, I just couldn't bring myself too, it was still to fresh. But 20 years, I'm going to this one. I started to get all hung up on how fat I've gotten, but then I started to think, whatever, everyone else is going to be so hung up on how they look that they're not going to be paying attention to me. There are several people there that I am looking forward to seeing, but my worry is that someone is going to remember me & I'm not going to remember them. And the thing is, it won't be because they weren't important or didn't make an impact on my life (although truthfully 'impact' may be too strong a word) but it's really just because my memory is truly HORRIBLE!!!! I mean we're talking "What did you do last night Candi?" Ummmm, let me think about it for a minute......Oh yeah!! I mean seriously, my memory is terrible. But, all of that aside, I'm going to push away my own insecurities & Eugene & I are going. I will be sure to take & post some pictures. It'll be interesting to see who's changed & who's stayed the same. I guess you could say I was looking forward to it. At least I'm not dreading it. So, we'll see....

Not #1 parents....

2010-07-19T12:25:00.004-05:00

So yesterday I was talking to Jordan & I was telling him about Young Life and how he should start going. Of course I was talking it up, telling him that there were lots of girls there (utmost of importance at this age) & how I knew that several of his friends went & that I think he would like it alot. Plus I said, the emphasis is on Jesus and worshipping God & like a dagger through my heart he said "Why are you always talking about Jesus and stuff like that?" & I said "Because it's important." & He said "Well if it's so important then why don't we go to church?" Ugh, the dagger had hit its mark...I knew right then that Eugene & I were failing at the mission that God had given us when he blessed us with two healthy, beautiful, smart, engaging, wonderful children.

Now don't get me wrong, I go to church, but not regularly and usually instead of wrestling with his complaints, I let Jordan sleep in. But now I see that I haven't been doing him any big favors. I see that my reluctance to deal with his "attitude" has only hurt him in the long run. I started to wonder, at what age is it too late to instill the faith in our God that I want my children to have. I mean I know Jordan believes, but he doesn't know the Lord like I know the Lord. He hasn't seen the things that I have seen, or had prayers answered the way I have, at least I don't think he has, maybe I should ask him. Ugh!! Luckily I don't think I've passed that point with Alei (since she's only 8), but I worry know about the influence that Eugene & I have been on Jordan. I talked about it with Eugene when he got home & he agreed, we've pretty much stunk as Christian parents. Are we the worst? No, but does that make me feel any better?? Heck no!!! Sooooo, what to do now? I'm not sure but I know it starts with a lot of prayer....so I think tonight I'll get down on my creaky knees and start, better late than never, at least I hope...

"Teach them to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up." Deuteronomy 11:19

Candi's Corner

Are they REALLY watching???

Update on Jaime...

Currently...

Currently

Update on Jaime...

Getting healthy...

Chattanooga

When God wink's at you...

Whoa!!!!!

Whew...

Prayers....

Are you ready for some FOOTBALL!!

Hardship license....

Weight loss...

Stay off the roads!!

Cutting it close!

Had a fabulous New Year's Eve!!

Blessings...

I'm doing it again....

Debt...

Looking forward to a busy weekend...

Thanksgiving Day...

Found another one...

CNA class....

So much....

Link Party!!

My first custom piece!!!

So excited!!

ACCEPTANCE!!!!!!!!

Romance, my lifestyle...

my signature lifestyle isromance

Links, link party's...I don't get it!!

Waiting...

Pinterest Challenge Time!!

Haven...

P.S.

2nd interview...

Almost done...

Wow...

MMR

SERIOUSLY!!!

Oh & btw...

Topsy Turvy...

DIY trial & error....

Refreshing...

Love Sweet Love: Mod Podge Pumpkins

Soooo excited!!

Where are the pictures?

And it starts all over...

Two posts in one day....

Wondering....

Blogs....

I need....

Wow....

David Crowder Band - How He Loves (Slideshow With Lyrics)

Sanctus Real - Forgiven (Slideshow With Lyrics)

Sanctus Real - Lead Me (Slideshow With Lyrics)

Blogs....

8 Miles....

Wonderful weather & game!

Hoping in the Lord....

What a weekend...

Serious attacks...

Face to face...

The day has come & gone...

Fall is coming....

Post traumatic stress disorder...

Up way too early...

So pitiful...

Here I am again....

Summer!!

Wait-listed....

I suck!!!

Disappointed....

Why do I do this to myself?

Can't get into the groove...

If it's not one thing it's another.....

Slightly confused...

BTW...

my signature lifestyle is
romance